Tough 2012

Tough.

This is how I am describing my 2012. It is a tough year for me for I had my heart and His heart broken. Yes, my heart has been broken by someone I mostly love and accepting it is very hard for me to do. Because of it, I have also broken His heart because I have done things that I ought not to do and I have not done things that I ought to do.

Though this is the toughest year I have experienced so far, this is also one of the most graceful years in my life. With what happened to me this year, I have greatly experienced the miracle of God’s grace in my daily life.  So before this year will end, I want to thank God for always being there and for not leaving me behind in this tough 2012.

Indeed, it is Him who always been my guide in my walk, my captain of my ship and the writer of my story. Whenever I am in the darkest road, He lights my path and guide me to the right way. When my ship is about to sink by the toss of the wind, He is there to quiet the wind and keep the sail calm. And whenever I tried to get the pen from Him and write my own story, He always reminds me that He is the one who knows how to create a great story.

My bible verse for this year is really found at the book of Psalms.

“Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. “ – Psalms 23:4

I know that I’ve gone through the valley of shadow of death for I know that this year has been the lowest point of my life, but still my God is with me. His rod is there to guide me and His staff is there to help me go back to the right way. It is Him who discipline me and gives me strength to overcome everything.

So now, before everything will end, I know that He should be praised continuously for everything that is happening in my life. So, Lord thank you for this tough 2012! It makes me stronger and it gives me courage to face a great 2013.

Boasting God

Despite all the adversity we might face in life, God’s grace is still present, and no matter what we’ve done he can still use us to demonstrate His glory. - Ryan Duncan, Crosswalk Devotional

My heart has been touched upon reading the above words in my quiet time today. I know that I've sinned against the Lord and despite of me knowing the truth, I still stumbled upon  a temptation which causes my soul to cry. I know that somehow a part of my decisions before causes where my life is today. I admit that I don’t have a life that pleases Him and I am sorry. If there is a point in my life that I can say that I am not worthy to be called as His princess, then it is this moment.

I don’t want to elaborate every sin I have committed against Him but I just want to speak that despite everything that happened and is happening today, I know that His grace is there. Today, I can attest the words from 2 Corinthians 12:9; Indeed, His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in my weaknesses.  I am not boasting of my sins here, rather I am boasting God here. Through my weaknesses, I know that His power will rest on me.

I once tried to do my best; to be the perfect Christian model but I am weak and I have failed to do it. I have done things that I ought not to do. I disobeyed the Lord and I am truly sorry for it. I wish I could go back to the past and not do those things but I have done it and I am sorry about it. Because of it, I want to run away again from the Lord, but He is faithful to His promises that He who begins a good work in me will put it into completion for He made me read the above words from my devotional. Upon meditating on it, I know that I don’t need to run away because He is perfectly waiting for me to ask for forgiveness because no matter what I've done, He can still use me to demonstrate His glory.

And I am here again, kneeling down before the Lord, asking for His grace to save me from my fall. I know that He has forgiven me two thousand years ago by sending His son Jesus Christ in the cross. I want to thank Him for everything He did in order for me to be right with Him once again. I want to quote here what Oswald Chamber once said:

“We are not meant to be seen as God’s perfect, bright shining examples, but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life exhibiting the miracle of His grace.”

Yes, I don’t want to pressure myself to be perfect or to be a bright shining example anymore. Instead, I want to exhibit His grace in my life. On my own, I cannot achieve perfection or righteousness before God, I need Him to do it.

Through this post, I want people to realize that we cannot be perfect in this world unless we have God in our lives.

Because I have an ungrateful heart.

I write this to confess my sin against the Lord; this Christmas I begin to be ungrateful. The center of my attention is shifted from God to my own desires. Just this morning, while reading James chapter 4, I know that I am that person who has begin to be ungrateful and it’s all because I didn’t get what I want.

And today, I just want to say sorry for I forgot how to be thankful to everything that has been given to me. I should have whisper a thankful prayer instead of asking God the reasons why things happened the way I don’t want it to be. I begin to be friends with the world instead to be in love with Jesus. And I am so sorry about it.

I don’t want to prolong this post; I just want this to be short. I hope this post will be a reminder to me and to everyone who wants to read this that we don’t own this world and we should not put our hearts on earthly things. Instead, let our eyes be fixed to our goal, and that is Jesus Christ. Let us be thankful and be grateful to everything for we all know that everything happens for our own good. So, this Christmas season, let our hearts be thankful. May we whisper a little thankful prayer to Him today.

Manny Lose The Fight But Still Victorious In His Faith

Here is the new post regarding the Juan and Manny fight yesterday!

I am not a sports analyst or a fan of boxing but I have watched the game and I know the Manny lose the fight with Juan Marquez. I was disappointed of what happened, eventhough I am not a fan of Manny Pacquiao, I still wanted him to win the fight. I was expecting that this time he will surely win, but obviously he lose the fight when Juan Marquez knocked out him at round 6.

What interests me now is the reaction of people when Manny lose the fight. Some people whom I know were an avid fan of Manny don’t want him anymore, they now idolize Marquez. Some people says that Manny deserve it as he became prideful and greedy of money. Some blame its new identity as a Christian on why he loses the fight. But there are still those people that despite his defeat with Marquez, believes on him to be one of the greatest boxer of all times.

Of all the reactions I heard or seen, those who put blame on his new found religion, as people called it, is what bothers me most.  The moment I begin to know that Manny has become a Christian, who really understand what it means and have now found a new life in Christ Jesus, I became glad. I am happy because his identity belongs to Christ and not to anyone or anything anymore. On the other hand, I fear that when he fights, he will lose it and people will begin to question his new belief.   

And yesterday, this is exactly what happened. Some people put the blame on his new religion. Manny didn't do his rituals anymore like bringing his rosary in the boxing arena and they already thought that it is the reason why he lose it.  They never see nor understand what is really happening to Manny.  They were blinded of the rituals that they didn't see that it is the Lord's will that He should be defeated on that fight. Yes, God allowed the defeat for a reason.  Knowing God, He has His reasons for whatever He is doing in Manny’s life. I mean, in a world point of view or shall I say in our limited view, we cannot understand what is happening. But when we look the Lord’s perspective, surely His reason is for the good of Manny.  

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who loves him, who have been called according to his purpose"- Romans 8:28

Manny has responded in a positive way after his defeat. Maybe because he has understand the verse above. He knows that in ALL things God works for those who loves him. In ALL things means including his victory and defeat. He humbled himself before the Lord and with it; I know that He is really a work in progress. Yes, Manny lose the fight but he is still victorious in his faith.  

And so before I end this post, I want to congratulate Marquez for winning the fight and Manny for winning his faith. 

Hey, It’s December

Hey, it’s December! But why the Spirit of Christmas is not yet seen nor felt?

It’s already the fourth day of December and I can’t feel the Spirit of Christmas yet. Yes, it’s true; I really cannot sense the presence of Christmas in my life. Maybe because I haven’t touring the City for a while or maybe because the Christmas decoration is very minimal and I haven’t heard a Christmas song played in the background. Well, is it really the reason why I can’t sense Christmas?

Does the Spirit of Christmas can only be seen by my naked eyes or can be heard by my ears? While writing this, I realized that the Spirit of Christmas is not based on what can be seen or what can be heard. But its presence can be felt only through our hearts.

So if it is based on my heart, is my heart in the mood for Christmas? Do I really know the true meaning of Christmas? I guess I have lost the real meaning as I am busy finding Christmas decorations in the streets and finding new Christmas songs. I think I have forgotten the real importance of Christmas.

So, while writing this, I want to ask myself again. What is really the meaning of Christmas for me? I know that Christmas is not about the decorations, the songs nor the giving of gifts to other people. So, what is it really about? Suddenly, I have remembered that Christmas is really about Christ which is from the word itself, so it all about Jesus Christ. We have Christmas because we want to remember His birth here on earth; on how He came here to save me, to save us from the eternal death. I should remember that Jesus birth in the manger is the reason why I can live freely right now.

“So, If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36

The real meaning of Christmas is Jesus and we can only feel the Spirit of Christmas once we accepted Jesus in our lives. Without Jesus in our lives, there is no point of celebrating Christmas. For how can we celebrate something we don’t believe? So I guess let’s take a look upon our hearts today, do we really celebrate it because we know the One who cause it? Or do we just celebrate it because almost everyone is celebrating it? Or are we really joining the festivities because this is the theme of everything that we see or hear?

So, I hope that we won’t be deceived by the commercialization of Christmas nowadays, for its real meaning is not about the decorations nor the songs but it can be found on its word, Christ. CHRISTmas is all about Jesus Christ. May we always remember this everyday of this December.

I hope that you won’t be like me that I forgot and swayed by the commercialization of Christmas. I became busy finding things related to Christmas that I forgot Jesus Christ, my Savior. And since this article is a reminder for me, I hope that I will be able to feel Christmas every day because I know that Christmas is all about Jesus. So,  Have a Merry CHRISTmas everyone! :)

A DETOUR IN SAMAL

I’ve been in Davao for four days for a workshop. And since its holiday the next day, I decided to stay with my sister and went to Samal Island.  It was almost noon when we took the jeep going to Sasa. We stop by at the wharf to ride for a ferry which cost ten pesos per person. I was mesmerized on how it is cheap to go to the island and how it is near to the city. I’ve been to Davao a couple of times and yet I never thought of going to Samal because I don’t know the way. And since I have with me someone who knows it, then I decided to go. 

It was noon when we arrived at the island. We’ve decided to rent a motor in the place for two hours in order for us to tour the island, as well scout for a place to stay. We almost entered and seen the resorts near the wharf when we decided to stay at the Blue Waters. It’s a resort good for people who want to take rest and be away from the pressures and busy life of the city. 

After picking the resort, we decided to tour at Samal. We went to the near market and to Peñaplata where there is a grocery and department store. We bought food and other items we needed for our overnight stay at Samal. After getting all we need, we went back to the resort and took some rest.

As the night went by, the kitchen staff is no longer available and we realized we don’t have rice. We again rent a motor for us to go to the market and buy some rice. There, we have enjoyed ourselves touring the place. Since I am exhausted in the said day, I decided to take a nap and unfortunately I wake up the next day. Well, I think I indeed took a rest.

As I wake up early morning, I decided to go to the beach and swim in the blue waters. Also, I took the opportunity to watch and enjoy the beauty of His creation. I also swim at the pool and enjoy its sea waters. Here are the pictures taken while I am enjoying the water.

My tour in SAMAL is just a detour in the seminar I have attended but it made me realize that sometimes we need to take some time to relax in our busy lives and enjoy the beauty of His creation. This is also what we need sometimes in our lives, we need a detour in order to appreciate some things that we have regret for a while. Just like Samal, I try to ignore it whenever I go to Davao, but when I went there; I admire the beauty of living in Davao as it is so near to this wonderful paradise, called Samal Island.  

AN OVERFLOWING THANKSGIVING

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” – Colossians 2:6-7

So, this is my verse for today. And as I read it, I want to check myself whether I am doing what I ought to do as I received Christ Jesus as Lord. It has been eight years since I came to accept Jesus as my Lord and I know that I haven’t obeyed Him 100% of the time.

Continue to Live in Him

Living in Him means what? It means Jesus being the center of my life. It means He should be the captain of my mind, heart and soul. It means, surrendering in Him daily in my life. I know that I am not perfect and there are days that I tried to live on my own and not in Him, but He wants me to ask for His grace daily. This grace will sustain me and help me as I continue to live in Him.

Rooted and Built up in Him

A root in a plant serves as a support; it gives minerals and water to the plant in order for it to grow. Just like plants, I also need to grow.  I need to be rooted in Him by making Him my source of my strength in order to do His will. Without Him as my root, I will not grow. I need Him in order for me to live.

Strengthened in the Faith

God desires me to have faith in Him. He wants me to trust in Him in all areas of my life. Not just faith in Him, but He also wants to strengthen me in Faith. So, whenever there are storms in my life, I shouldn’t give up easily because I know God is there for me and He just wants me to put my faith In Him that He is Sovereign and He knows what to do.

Overflowing with Thankfulness

I confess that this is what I think I always forgot to do. I tend to fail to remember to thank Him for everything that is happening. Whenever there are things that don’t go along my way, I tend to grumble. And I am very sorry for it. So, this moment is a Thanksgiving to God for everything that is happening in my life. Maybe there are times that I think God seems to be cruel in my life but I have to know that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. And so, here is my prayer of thanksgiving to Him.

Lord, it may hard to understand right now, but I know that you are there and you love me. Thank you for everything, as in for everything Oh Lord. You are indeed worthy to be praised. My heart is singing songs of joy because I am so grateful for having You in my life. You alone are the only one I need in this life. Thank you Jesus. Thank you very much. You know how thankful I am to have You in this lifetime. Lord, thank you soooooo much. If there is just only an emotion in these words, I know that whoever reads this can say that I am really grateful. Thank you again Jesus. Thank you. And out of my gratitude, Let my life be use for your glory Oh Lord. Thank you.

Saying Goodbye To The Twilight Saga

I watched the Breaking Dawn Part two last Saturday night and I'm a little bit emotional on bidding farewell to one of the favorite series I've read. 

MY READING EXPERIENCE 

Source: mandarox.wordpress.com

I was on my graduating year in college when I tried to read all the Twilight Saga. Honestly, I am a fan of it. I don't know on what part of it that I became an enthusiast of the Twilight Series. Maybe because I am surrounded by the people who love to read it also. I can still remember the days when I exchange my breaks into reading the book; in order for me not to be left behind by my friends. Also, whenever I encounter a gloomy day or a rainy day, I imagine myself that I live in an environment where Bella lives. I even watched Twilight on its premiere night, though I've been disappointed with the outcome of the movie, I am still glad that I came. Maybe someone might think that I am obsessed by the book. Well, maybe yes but not to the point that I am willing to do crazy stuffs because of it. I am just an ordinary fan, just like others who loves Twilight.

COMPARISON WITH OTHER BOOKS

I know that some people would think that Twilight series is not as good as the Harry Potter series. Well, Maybe Twilight is a little bit fancy because it has a romantic plot while Harry Potter isn’t about it. No matter how they compare twilight with other books, I really don’t care about it since I am fanatic of Harry Potter and other books also. I guess we really cannot compare each story to another story since they are all different from each other.

BREAKING DAWN PART 2

On the other hand, every story has its ending. And last Saturday night, I finally bid farewell to the Twilight Series. I was emotional not because it’s the last movie of the series but because I was surprised on how the movie was created. I am sorry to those who didn’t watch the movie yet because I am really going to spoil it here.

Source: www.entertainment.time.com

When Carlisle died in the movie, I was really shocked. I cannot remember that he died in the book. I was overwhelmed that I almost cry because I still believe that everyone survived in the book and yet I am watching a fight where Carlisle and Jason died. I was really upset that I begin to ask myself the reason why Stephenie Meyer allowed them to change the story. While having this question on my mind, I was surprised again on the turned out of events where there is no fight at all, and everything that I am watching is just a vision of Alice if the Volturi decides to fight against the Cullens. I heard the sound of happiness at the movie house when there is no fight at all. I am even relieved when I got to know that it was only a vision from Alice. I begin to claim that I love that little twist in the movie. The battle is splendid that I almost believe that it is true.

So, this is how I bid the Twilight Saga goodbye. I am somehow happy that the concluding movie of the Twilight Saga is splendid compared to its other movies. 

And Here I am, Crying Again...

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. - Psalms 147:3

I just finished reading the above verse, and tears has just flowed upon my face. I am not sure why, I cannot even fathom the real reason of my feelings. I just feel so hurt that I want to cry. I realized that most of the times, whenever my heart is crushed and I feel so alone in this world, I never think first of my God as the greatest comforter of all times. And yes, I know that I am guilty of this. And maybe, this is the reason of my sad soul this morning.

And here I am, crying again because I know that I have sinned against the Lord. I know I should be doing something today but I can't help myself not to write. Yes, I want to pour all of my thoughts here. I want to remind myself that I am not perfect and I cannot do it alone. I need God in my life for without Him, I know that I am nothing. 

I admit that my life seems to be fine right now but it only seems to be. For I know my spirit is broken and I know that I needed Him to heal me. I don't want to lose myself and that's why I am giving back everything to Him. So, I whisper a prayer today, telling Him to use my life for His glory. Because this is the reason why I am living. Though I don't live a perfect life, I want Him to be used by me in anyways that I can be fully utilized. I do this not because I am obliged to do it, but I do this because I want to. I want Him in my life. I desire Him to come and pour me with His Spirit. 

And I know that my God is answering my prayer just right now. While writing this, He has just put a smile into my once wearied face. He has given me Himself for the Spirit of joy and peace is within me as this very moment. I know and I have faith that He will continue to lead me until my mission here on earth is complete. We maybe have troubles in this world, sometimes our hearts might be broken again, but our God will surely be there for us as we ask Him to come with us. Let us pray and have faith that everything is noted by our Maker. 

I really hope that everyone who reads this be blessed and be encouraged to do the same. God is with us once we accept Him in our lives. Let us ask God to come into our lives for He will surely come. Cry to Him for He will surely comfort you. 

Grace Month

It looks like I haven’t written an entry for almost a month. Well, this maybe a sign that October really is a busy month for me. Though it is a hectic month, I guess all of my anxieties unleashed as October ended in a very wonderful and beautiful way. Because all of the things happened along the way has made me a better and a strong person. Thanks to the grace of my Father in heaven who gives me so much grace to survive this month. As for me not to forget all the things happened this grace month, this entry is posted.

Celebrated Apong’s birthday. She is now officially 89 years old. A picture of me with apong as how she is grateful that we visited her on that special day.

Wedding of my snabero cousin, we call him buryog. He is 25 years old, same age as mine, but he already chosen to settle down. Good love cousin!

Car stuck up at the mud in front of our house. We’re all girls and we tried to get the car out of the mud. Unfortunately, we didn’t. So we call for some of our friends. My B came and able to help us. Thanks to him. Here is the picture of me with all the mud in my body.

My sister Vannin crowned as Mutya of Brgy. Sta. Cruz. Congrats to my sister who have series of bloopers. It was an evening event and she told the crowd these lines during her production number: “Good Morning everyone.... (notice the boos of crowd to her) for tomorrow I mean, Good evening once again ladies and gentlemen.” Oh well, I guess she’s smart enough to make an excuse on what she did. Cheers to my sister, so proud of you.

Internal Quality Audit has been started in our company. And I am appointed as the lead auditor. It was a tiring activity, but learned a lot there. Thanks to the opportunity.

Mom’s birthday. She is now officialy 51 years old. We surprised her with cakes, flowers and balloons. My churchmates went in the house and sang songs and prayed for her. My B got a chance to treat her at Apareja buko halo halo and we watched Secret Affair afterwards. Glad we made mom happy on her birthday.

I know I haven’t written here the full details. But hopefully, as I read this post once again, all the memories will just flood in my mind. 

Some Things Are Not Really Meant To Be

It’s Sunday evening and I find myself nothing to do. I listened to music and the song reminds me again of you. What happened to us is now a beautiful memory from the past. Whenever I remembered you, everything just got back again; from the moment we say hello until the day we decided to say good bye.

It has been a bittersweet memory. I know that what I felt for you is real and I do believe that you feel the same way too. However, we need to make a choice; a choice that would make us a better person. Because we know that we need to do it or we might end up hurting each other if we keep on trying something that is not really meant to be. So, we choose to finally say that things should be over between the two of us. 

It has been months since we parted but there are still moments in my life that I come to think of you. During these moments, I ask myself series of unanswered questions. What happened to us back then? Why do we allow it to happen? What went wrong? And from the time we separated, what happened to you? Do you live the life you think you ought to live? Did you ever think of me? Do you miss me? All of these are just the thoughts that came in my mind whenever I remember you. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I am still waiting for you to come back. No. I am just asking this because somehow, a part of me wants to know.

But if ever it will remain unanswered, it is okay. Because maybe I know that some questions are not meant to be answered but only to be understood. After all, if we are really meant to be for each other, fate will bring us together again, someday. And if it’s not, then I know that someone better will come. Someone who is right for me and I am right for him.

 As I am writing this, I want to tell you that there is a specific someone whom I think have captivated me again. Maybe not the same way on how you have captivated me, but this time I know that this someone is making me happy more than ever. I never thought that I can be as happy as this after what happened to us. So, I guess it’s time to really say thank you for everything. Because if it’s not for you, I won’t realized that this is how life works. Some things are not really meant to be, no matter how hard we try.

Learning to Let Go

This is just a repost from actlikeaman.org. I find it inspiring. Indeed, God wants us to let go especially when He sees that He isn't the center of it. I'm glad I have read it and I really want to share it here in my blog. 

Someone once told me, ‘do not hold on to a blessing too tightly that you aren’t willing to let go anymore’. I think there is wisdom with what she said. And don’t we all struggle with that? Especially when we’re blessed with a relationship?

This entry has been inspired by my relationship with a good friend of mine who ignited this wisdom and experience in me. To you, I give my thanks.

I’ve been blessed with so many friends. And we as human beings experience relationships here and there. It is part of us. We need relationships – it is our design to desire such. And for some part of my life, I’ve been blessed with a special relationship that I was holding on so tightly to.

When a blessing makes you bleed

This relationship was a big blessing in my life. And in fact, it still is. But during the time, I was so stubborn and held on to my relationship with this person too tightly, I didn’t feel my hand was already bleeding and I was suffocating the blessing.

Holding on to a blessing too tightly will dethrone God in your life. Especially if that blessing is a relationship. The one thing that will ever play tug-o-war with God for the throne in your heart is a relationship – whether it be a relationship with a person (which is a two-way relationship), with your tv, computer, books, etc… (the latter ones are one-way relationships) Because what you have with God is a relationship too.

Feeling the loss

And so at some point in time when God sees that you cannot handle the blessing He has given you, He has to take it away. And yes you will excruciatingly feel the pain as God pries your fingers open. You will feel the cuts in your hand begin to bleed. And you will feel the loss – a void in your palm and a void in your heart for you have placed that blessing in the throne of God, committing idolatry.

It is such an irony that when you are willing to let go, God will let the blessing stay for He knows that He still holds Lordship over your life. But when the time comes that you’re holding on a wee bit tighter to that blessing, He’s gonna start telling you “Hey buddy, you better lossen up that grip.”

When the time comes that God needs to pry the blessing away from you, then you know that you have made yourself a captive of that blessing. And instead of a blessing it has become an idol for you. All the idols we make in our lives come from blessings – blessings that has taken the place of God in our hearts. So how do we avoid this? How can we let go?

Set your eyes on the Giver

How do we avoid idolatry? Check your heart. Is God still the only thing you cannot let go of? Are all other things worthless in light of Him? Is He still your focus? When the answer is no then that’s the time when you have to question the things in which you are fearful to let go of – because it has already taken root in the throne room of God in your life.

How can we let go of a relationship that we have been blessed with? Renew your mind. Always remember that God gives us blessings for a purpose – to bless others with it. If the relationship is not pleasing to God anymore, and if you yourself is not blessed with what is happening, then it’s time to search your heart with where you stand in the relationship. Check your grip. Are you holding on too tightly?

It is not easy to know these things. You need the discernment and wisdom of God. You need to give Him time to tell you this. Often, we are blinded with emotions in this aspect and we need the help of other people whom we can trust and to who we can be accountable with. Ask them for advice. Humble yourself and know that you need it.

And when you know and realize that you are holding on too tight, then you know that you have to let go. Loosen your grip by loosening the relationship with that person in your heart. Meaning, slow down or cut short the communication between the both of you. Relationships grow through communication, so in order to loosen it up, loosen up the communication.

Back off and try to see the relationship in a bigger light. Is it still pleasing to God? Are other people going to be blessed with your relationship with that other person? Maybe it’s time to give the blessing back to God and develop yourself more in order for you to handle it better the next time around.

Check your grip.

Let go. Develop yourself. Wait on God.

Here is the website if you want to read it from the author Sean Si. http://www.actlikeaman.org/learning/

Songs and Memories

What is it with songs that when you heard it again; it will bring back some memories in the past? It seems a wide screen that will let you see what happened back then. It seems it gives magic by bringing you to a time where you know you can’t go back anymore.

So, here are the few songs that whenever I hear it playing, some memories have just flashed before my eyes and I begin to smile.

Macarena by Los del Rio

Watching my cousin leading a dance in front of many people in NDMU grounds

Like a Rose by A1

Sleeping in my bed while listening this in the radio during my highschool years

Something stupid by Robbie Williams

Sing this song in front of my music class during highschool

Asereje by Las Ketchup

Singing and dancing this song during the division press conference at the KNCHS Gym

When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating

Listening to my friends singing it during my 18^th birthday outside my room in Kalayaan dorm

Birthday song by Don Mclean

Stephen sings this to me the night of my 18^th birthday.  The guitar, candles surrounded us and the rose he gave to me.

With a Smile by Eraserheads

Sing the first few lines in front of my English Class. I need to get the attention of my classmates as I speak about my topic.

Kailan by MYMP

Joanna is singing this song to me at the hallway or in her room at Yakal dorm. She is teasing me with Stephen.

Give Thanks by Don Moen

This song reminds me of the Yakal Christian Fellowship. I remembered Kuya Dave reminding us to sing this joyfully. 

Love bug by Princess

I see myself walking in the streets from my apartment to the street of G. Araneta where I wait for the jeep as I go to work.

Iniibig Kita by Roel Cortez

Sitting in the living room of my apartment where my previous boyfriend is singing this to me.

I know there are so much more in the list but I can't write all of it here. I hope that you too will smile whenever you recall some songs that somehow brings you to the past.

October, You’ve Welcomed Me With So Many Things To Do.

Today is the 9^th day of October but I found myself in the middle of these paper works that I don’t even have some time to rest. Well, I’m glad I have this time today to write in my blog. Ofcourse, because I am procrastinating and I just don’t feel doing any work related thing anymore. You see, I’m quite stressed and pressured. And I needed this break.

On the first day, you welcomed me with a meeting. It’s not really stressful but whenever I think of the things needed to be finished this month, it sucks me. It seems its eating every fuel that I have in my body.

Second day, you have tired me again with preparation on the strategic planning. Not to mention that my boss had just told me that I will be in charge in the orientation the next day. Whoa, I’m like an astonished woman by that time. I'm like, C'mon Ma'am, are you sure you're going to give it to me?

Still had time to take a picture during the workplanning

Third to fifth day, it’s strategic planning time. Facilitating it drained all my energy. Even though I have with me my team, still the pressure is yours. Not to mention that you have to make sure that they are enjoying their socials at night. C’mon, I’m pressured with the social activities or with the planning itself? Maybe both. I’m glad that my boss didn’t leave me behind.

Sixth day. Yes, this is it! Atlast. I can truly say that this day is for me to pamper myself when suddenly there is little and big J’s in the house. Entertaining visitors is somewhat exhausting  especially if you need rest.

It Sunday on the seventh day and it’s my lola’s 89^th birthday! Ofcourse, we have to pay a visit to the one who brought my mother in this world. We bought cakes and some food for lunch. Not an ordinary Sunday for us, we also plan for the upcoming wedding of my cousin. And again, I’m striked by my aunt on when would my wedding be. I just like say to her that those things don’t matter now for I think I’m too young for that. Hahahaha!  After lola’s birthday, we also need to have our dinner at my another lola, the mother of my dad. Oh well, my aunt and uncle arrived and they have this little party in their house. Yes I know that I went to party but don’t you know that series of parties is somehow a strenuous activity?

Eight day is Monday, the first day of work this week. And I am not sure if I can still sustain all of those activities especially that I have to rush some documents before the travel of my boss next week. Thinking about everything that I needed to do really, really drained me. Tears just flow from my eyes for I know I am not sure if I can still sustain my energy with all of these things.

Ninth day. And that is today. It’s late afternoon and I think I have done enough for the day. I have arranged my schedules and been productive today. Finished so many things today and accepted additional appointment in the work. This really is it, and I think I will be very busy these coming days. Not to mention that October is the month where there are so many deadlines along the way, including my outside projects. I really hope I can cope up with everything. I’m glad I write it here, at least I poured out my thoughts and my burden in this site. Thanks to this blog.

And before I forget, I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He won’t put me here if I cannot do it. May His grace sustain me every day of this October life. He is carrying me on until the ninth day and He will always be. Hoping to have a fruitful October. There's more to go.

A Visit in the Philippine Taoist Temple

picture with the lion statue? not sure if it is statue

We arrived at Cebu a day before the training, so we were given an opportunity to tour and travel around the city. Marife and I, together with her cousins, decided to visit the Taoist temple.

We went to the Taoist temple by a combination of jeepney and motorcycle ride and a walk. First, we ride a jeepney from Fuente Osmena. Then, we had a motorcycle ride until at the gate of a subsidivision. From it, we walked around 500 meters around from the entrance to the entrance of the Taoist temple.

As we entered there, we still need to walk through the stairs which I think has more or less 100 steps. It’s afternoon when we went there, so we really felt the hotness of the day. However, the view of Cebu City from the top worth the tiring walks.  We took some pictures at different statues in the temple.

view from taoist temple with marife and her aunt

picture with the dragon statue

resting, resting, resting

and some more pictures

picture with the taoist temple

Unfortunately, we were not given the chance to take a picture inside the temple. So what we did, Marife and I entered the temple and tried to do what Taoist did inside their temple.  We lit the incense and tried to ask questions using their wood stones. It’s fun on my part since I got a yes answer on the first try while Marife got a negative answer. This means, I can still ask for more, so I tried another question and sadly the stones answered me no.

After the visit, we went back to the hotel since we found ourselves tired at that day. Maybe because we still need to walk from temple until the entrance of the subdivision before we get a ride. 

Dear You...

Dear You,

I know that I cannot tell you anymore any of these. So, Instead of trying to keep it with myself, I'd rather write it here. You know what....

I wanna be friends with you, I wanna know how are you but it hurts me whenever I see you with other woman.

I wanna hate you, like not talk to you for the rest of my life. But I don't want hatred to rule my life.

I wanna love you, like kiss and hug you. But I don't want to feel rejection because I know that you don't want me that way anymore.

I wanna forget you. Forget to the level I won't remember your name anymore. But I cannot teach my heart nor mind to do that. Unless I will let myself suffer from amnesia which I don't want to.Because If I will, I will also erase my precious memories with you which I don't want to do. 

Now, tell me what should I do with all of my feelings for you? Because I am like a crazy young woman who still loves you despite everything. 

I really hope that through writing these, I might be able to cope up with my life and really move on with it even if you're not with me anymore. 

                                                                                                          Love,
                                                                                                          Me

Coaster Ride and Sky Walk at Cebu City

Are you afraid of heights? Some people do and maybe Sir Willi is afraid since he didn't join us in the sky walk experience in Crown Regency Hotel, Cebu City last night. He just stayed outside and wait for us while we do our first coaster ride and sky walk at the 38th and 37th floor of the said hotel.As for me, I am somehow fear the heights but because I want to experience this famous adventure here in Cebu, I decided to try. At first, I am really nervous since some people told me that it's scary. So, before I try the coaster ride, I texted my loved ones that I love them, in case that I won't be alive after the ride.

The coaster ride is located in the the 38th floor of the hotel. You will ride a cab and it will tilt around 55 degrees for four seconds as it will move at the edge of the building. After four seconds, the control on tilting is yours. In our case, it was Marife who controls the tilt since I am so afraid to touch anything that I might do something clumsy that will lead us to a fall. I was nervous at first but when I realized that the coaster's speed is very low, I became calm that I raised my hands many times. However, my hands is raised conservatively in the picture since I'm afraid that Marife won't be seen in the camera. But still, I got my hands raised here and somehow I am proud to do that. I had a fun experience riding this, and so Marife. 

The second adventure is said to be the sky walk experience which is located at the 37th floor of the building. This time, we are required to wear a jumpsuit and shoes. Since we didn't bring shoes, we bought socks worth twenty pesos and borrowed the shoes there. 

We tour the edge of the building for about 10 to 15 minutes while walking, our tour guide informs us so much about Cebu. From the top, we will see amazing views that you won't appreciate if you're at the ground. Look at how beautiful the view here. You will see the capitol of Cebu from here as well as the famous Fuente Osmena that shapes like a guitar. Is it just a coincidence that guitars are famous here in Cebu and this view really looks like a guitar?  Also, since our tour guide is very supportive, we are asked to sit down at the edge and this is very scary. I mean, once you slip here, it is only the harness that will support you and I'm afraid that it might not support me that very well. 

Also, this is the picture where we are given an opportunity to only step one foot at the edge while the other hangs above the sky. This time, I had a confidence to do this unlike sitting at the edge. Maybe because one of my hands is in the harness which assured me that I won't let go of it if ever I will slip. 

By the way, cameras and phones are not allowed in the coaster ride and sky walk. So , we only took some pictures with Sir Willi at the entrance. 

And before I forget, certificates of survival are also given to us. We are also given free shirts as a souvenir. Thanks to the operations manager at the reception area for that shirt since the shirt is not given to everyone. And lastly, the printing of pictures there is worth Php 230.00 each and the two rides plus the entrance costs Php 750.00. So, if you want to have a picture at the two rides, you need to prepare atleast Php 1,250.00.

I hope you'll try this sky walk experience once you visit Cebu since it is indeed a wonderful and rare adventure in this urban city. So, for those who are afraid of heights, conquer your fear by trying this one.