Always know who you are

The moment you open your eyes, you know that today is different from yesterday. No matter what happened yesterday, you keep in mind that you can start another day. And it is your choice on how you will start it.

Today, you choose happiness over sadness. You decide to smile. Your eyes are fixed; things will happen in favor of you. And your heart radiates from the inside out and people see the difference you have.

Then, as you go along, someone yells at you for a mistake of the past. Someone laughs at you, and then your heart begins to shrink. It seems you want to fade because of the accusations thrown to you. They are defying your identity.  But still, you know who you are and you never mind them as you continue the things you are called to do.

The moment you eradicate the negative thoughts, you lose something precious to you. You search and find ways to gain it back, but you have never get it. Your heart cries again because you know that it will never come back and will never be. So, you realize that it is never meant to you and you begin to move forward.

So, as you go on, you reach a beautiful moment. You already know what you want and you begin doing it. You are again happy and you begin to inspire others. You continue to love what you do until you see again your purpose.

As the end of the day approaches, your body becomes weak. You are tired and exhausted for the day. But still, you smile because what you have done is worth the pain. Then, you know that you have conquered the day because you always know who you are and you know you’re worth.

AND SO I WRITE, AS LONG AS I COULD

I am not a good writer. I cannot even choose the right words for me to express what I really feel. I do not know how to juggle the words where the reader (if there is) can understand my thoughts correctly.  Not to mention that my grammar sucks all the time. Composing a perfect sentence is just only a dream to me.

When I was in high school, I was a part of a school paper. But I guess my membership on it is merely a matter of luck. That time, the head of our school paper needed a news writer and since I had an experience on it during my elementary years, I was asked to join the organization. And that was it; in just a blink of an eye, I suddenly became the News Editor. Although I had the title, I can still feel that I am not fit for it. I affirmed my incompetency when all of my friends went to that national press conference and I am the only one who is left. So, I thought that being a good writer is only a wishful thinking.

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Even that was I felt, my quest in becoming a good writer still goes on. During college, I took an English class not just because I am required to do it but because I want to learn more. I studied hard just for me to become skilled, but it turned out to be my lowest grade that semester. And I just become disappointed with myself. I recognize that no matter how I tried to learn the skill, writing seems to be indifferent to me.

Although that is what I sense on writing, I never hesitate not to write. You see, writing is part of my life even if I suck at it most of the time. So, instead of trying to figure out the steps of being a good writer, I decided to create a blog. I put all of my thoughts there whenever I have time to write. I don’t care if I have a bad grammar or my thoughts are disorganized most of the time, my heart is just fixed to write as good as I can be. I am not even bothered if I have a reader or none, all I know is that I want to voice out my thoughts and my feelings through writing. But of course this doesn’t mean that I stop learning the skill. I am still trying to be proficient with it and still accepting the comments and suggestions of others. So, if you think that there is something wrong with this article, just let me know.

Until now, I know that I am not still a good writer but I have this courage to cry out my opinions through it. And if there is one thing I learned by writing this article, it is by not letting anyone or anything hinder you to do what you want. So as for me, I never stop in my quest of being a good writer, I just realize that if you do what you love, someday you will become the best on it. And so today I just write, as long as I could.

On Pouring Rain

Days are different for each one of us; sometimes you can get sunlight  and sometimes you can only have that pouring rain. I do not know what you get today but I do believe that you have experienced both. And to experience both seems to be normal. But how do you deal if years have been passed yet you only have those pouring rain?

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For the past few years, dark clouds seem to be all over my life. And because of it, I begin to ask God the question that David always asked: Why? I begin to ask Him what are the wrong things that I have done to be on this place right now. I want to know so that I can ask for forgiveness for it and He will save me from where I am.  Because everything seems to be the opposite of what has been promised to me. And it is almost the same for a very long time. So, I cried and begin to question Him until I have stumbled upon His word today in Joshua 1:5 - “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.”

The very words that says He will never leave me nor forsake me had caught me. How come I have doubted Him?  Isn’t my God the same as the God of Moses who puts them in wilderness before they enter the promise land? He is the same God and He will never ever leave me just how He lead the Israelites in the promise land. In fact, He is doing the right thing in my life. It might be something different from what I imagine but the fact that He is in control and He is with me is something that I should be praised for. He might not be doing what I want, but He is doing what I need. He wants me to slow down and trust in Him no matter what.

I do not know when the rain will stop but there is one thing I am certain and that is the fact that I am not alone. My God is with me as He is with Moses. And this fact is something I should be reminded of every day. As much as I wanted to see the sunlight, I should not be in haste because God is the one who is leading me. He knows the way and the right time.

So, let’s back to the question on how to deal the pouring rain that is coming your way for a long time? I think you just have to remember that God is with you as the rain pours. His arms will surely comfort and protect you as you continue to cling upon Him. God did not promise you to see sunlight every moment of your life here on earth, but He promised you to be with you no matter what you have; for He will never leave you nor forsake you especially on a pouring rain.