Amazing 2013: Clinging into His promises

I wasn’t able to write for a very long time. Well, maybe because I had other ways to express my emotions rather than writing it. 2013 is almost over and as it is ending, I guess it is also my time to write in this blog once again. My 2013 is one of the superb years that I can have; I had a great time and most of my prayers are answered.

I always had my prayer and fasting every start of the year. Along with it, I also have written my faith goals. Looking back at those goals, I am so amazed on how God planned for my life. I just wanna share here the things happened to me this 2013.

On my Career:

At the very start of 2013, I was promoted as Planning and Evaluation Supervisor. But during the first two weeks of January, I still wrote in my faith goals that this year I still pray for promotion in my career and an opportunity to grow in other areas.  I don’t know how it will happen since I am just promoted recently, but still I decided to write it down knowing that God will be in charge and not me. As to my surprise, at the middle of the year, I am promoted as the HR & Admin Chief at my workplace. This is a promotion and really an opportunity to grow for me

On my Personal Life:

It has been my faith goal this year that I can have opportunity to travel abroad. Knowing that I don’t have enough money left in my pocket and I don’t even have my own passport made me think that this is such an impossible thing to happen. But as the year goes by, a chance came as a surprise when my boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to his cousin’s wedding at Thailand and he wanted me to come with him. So, we decided to visit Thailand after a very short notice.

On my Relationships:

It is always my prayer that I would improve my relational skills. This year, I am so blessed that I could spend more bonding moments with my family. The death of my “apong” and “tatay” made me clode with them more. Also, my relationship with my boyfriend has been stronger as we continue to build memories and moments together.

On my Finances:

I thank God for all the financial blessing He provided me this year. My advancement in career means advancement on my finances. This year, I was able to give a share to my mom and to other people. I hope that more blessings will also come next year.

On my Family’s Health:

I remember praying for the health of my mom who is diagnosed with a myoma. She had a very big myoma on the previous years and the doctor already advised for an operation. However my mom had a followed check up this year and to the surprise of the doctor, it had decreased. Hopefully, It will be lesser next year.

On my Spiritual Life:

I know that one of my goals this year is to have a consistent prayer life and to start a ministry in my area. However, I’ve been so busy this year that I wasn’t able to do this. However, I’ve started to put a little effort to be back at the time I am so active in the church. I tried to show my family the importance of prayer as we pray together before meals and especially those moments that my family really needs one. I remember praying with my mother especially during the hard times this year.

I have just written here some of my faith goals this 2013 which has been answered. Without Him, it is impossible for me to have those blessings.  At the end of each day, I know that it is my Father in heaven who provides for me and who will continue to give his grace and mercy in my life.  And at the end of each year, the greatest blessing is the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. I am so grateful to have Him in my life this year for without Him, I am nothing. 2013 is indeed amazing as we cling on to His promises for He who promised is faithful.

On Temples, Elephants and a Wedding – a Trip to Thailand

Experiencing a culture apart from my own is one of the best things that happened in my life. I have traveled recently in Thailand to attend a wedding of my boyfriend’s cousin, Weywha. She married a Thai and we got to experience the beauty of other customs.

I’ve never been outside the Philippines before and this trip is one of the highlights in my life. Preparations have been done for almost a month, searching over the internet on what I could expect in an unknown place.

Day 1: August 15, 2013

We took an early morning flight from General Santos City to Manila. We arrived at Manila around 10:00 am and went to UP Diliman, where I finished by BS degree in Industrial Engineering. I tour my boyfriend around the place, ate our lunch at Roddics, where you can taste the best “tapsilog” ever. Took some pictures at Sunken Garden, College of Engineering and even at the famous, “Oble”. We also had a time to meet a college friend, Pinay. We had our merienda at Mang Larry’s Isaw, the best isaw in the Philippines I must say.

 After 3-4 hours stroll in UP, we went back to the airport and wait for our evening flight to Bangkok. While waiting, we’ve found a family of B, my boyfriend.

Two hours before the flight we’ve check in, had our dinner and finally faced the immigration.

They got to interview us a little and there we’re now officially exiting the Philippines. We’ve waited for a while in the boarding area until our flight has been called. The Cebu Pacific plane flight 5J 931 is now waiting for us. After three hours in the plane, Bangkok welcomed us around 1:00 am. We’ve queue at the immigration area and we can be called foreigners officially.

Shayne, our former officemate, fetch us at the airport. She welcomed us at her place at Ratchada Thapra SOI 5, Bangkok around 2:00 in the morning.

Day 2: August 16, 2013

Though we only had a little time to sleep, we manage to wake up around 8:00 in the morning and made ourselves ready for a very long day of trip. Shayne bought us food (rice mixed with chicken and vegetables).

Since Shayne knows how to speak a little Thai and became our tour guide for the day. We went to Victory Monument via Bangkok Train Station (BTS) or B-T-et in Thai, as they find it hard to speak the letter “S”. Shayne taught us how to ride the train.

As we arrived at Victory monument, we find the minivan going to Ayutthaya, an hour and half drive from Bangkok. But before we went there, we bought Thai sim cards at Seven Eleven. Since it is a long drive, we just internet using our new sim cards at the van.

We really feel like a tourist at Ayutthaya. When we arrived, we immediately hire a tuktuk driver and ask if he can drive us to the Elephant Ride. We feel pity with what they are doing with the elephants but still we insist that we should ride one, at least once in our life. We paid 500 baht per person for a 30 mins ride. Also, the trunks of the elephants are also asking for a tip, so you should be prepared to have given one. As for me, I am not prepared and I don’t understand Thai that’s why I wasn’t able to give to the first elephant that asked me.

After the ride, we bought “pasalubongs” at the place. We also ask our tuktuk driver if he can drive us to other areas such as temples and floating market. We went to a man made floating market in the area and had lunch there.

Then, after the floating market, we visited the temples around the place. Since we have a limited time to visit other temples, we did not enter to it anymore. We only pick those temples and ruins which are near with each other. It was great and it was really fun to see a different culture. We even ask our tuktuk driver to drive us to a place where they sell fruit trees and flowers, as this is the request of my B. We went home around 5:00 pm and paid our manong tuktuk with 800 baht.  We went back to Victory and had our dinner there. We ate at KFC and tried the different taste of Chicken, as well as their famous egg pie.

Even though we are tired, we still find time to go to the famous night tourist place, the Khao San Road. There you can see different nationalities. There are music, live band, shops and massage areas all over the road. We didn’t drink since we are already tired; instead we tried their famous Thai massage. Indeed, the massage is very relaxing and very good.

Afterwhich, we tour around the place and to my surprise, my B had given me these beautiful roses.

We went home around 1:00 am by riding a Tuktuk. The driver is a fast driver and violated almost all the rules when we are riding him. We were all scared but we enjoyed the ride. And Day 2 is finished.

Day 3: August 17, 2013

Since my friend is not available at that day, we hire a tour guide. His name is Yaya. He picked up at our apartment around 9:00 in the morning. We ride a taxi to a place where we can ride a boat taxi to go to the real river market, the Taling Chan river market.

While waiting for our boat taxi ride, we went to the artist house. The items are not for sale in the artist house, it is only for sightseeing purposes. When the boat taxi arrived, we followed to a river. The river is not clean but it’s ok, atleast we experienced it. After the 30 minute ride, we pay 900 baht for it. Then, we arrived at the Taling Chan market, it is the only river market that is in Bangkok and it is only open every weekend. There, you can really experience the real life of a Thai. We roam around and had our breakfast there. Our tour guide bought the food for us. I tasted everything he offered.

After Taling Chan, we went to the famous temples in Bangkok: The Wat Arun, Wat Pho and Grand Palace. Unfortunately, we never enter the Grand Palace since they are requiring us to wear shoes and I did not bring any. But its okay since we enjoyed the view of Wat Arun and Wat Pho. Also, our tour guide said that entrance fee for the grand palace is 500 baht per person and what you will see there is the same temples you can see around it. So, we decided not to go.

Instead, we went to the Jim Thompson Place by riding a tuktuk and a river boat. The river boat only stops for a while in a place, so we need to hurry as we go. But in our case, we took some picture of us and the lady who is in charge there got angry with us. Nevertheless, we don’t understand her, so we just laugh at her.

Around 3:00 pm, we went at the apartment of our friend. Yaya, our tourguide, accompany us as we go home. He is good in English, inserted some jokes along the way and a very wonderful person. We paid him for 900 baht inclusive of the lunch he paid for us. We appreciate his concern with us as he checked us every now and then if we are okay.

After having a little rest at the apartment, we prepared ourselves to go the bus station to Chiang Rai. Ara, my highschool friend and a common friend of Weywha, will join us as we go to Chiang Rai. We met at the BTS station.

The bus arrived before our departure time. It is a 2-storey bus and we are very much happy to ride it since it will be our first time.  We will be having a 12 hour travel to Chiang Rai and so we sleep during the whole time. A stop over has been made for us to eat around 12 midnight. But since I don’t like the food, we just manage to look at the place.

Day 4: August 18, 2013

We arrived around 8:00 am in Chiang Rai. Since the wedding will start around 10:00 am, we still have time to prepare for the wedding. When we are ready, we walked from our room to the reception and manage to enjoy the rituals of the wedding. We cannot understand Thai, so we just look around and had a small talk with Weywha’s family.

Around 3:00 pm, we went to the house of the groom, where we will stay for an overnight. Around 5:00 pm, the continuation of the party started. Thai people invited us to dance, so we invade the place and dance. They taught us how to dance in Thai and we also taught them how to dance in Philippines. It was a great night.

Day 5: August 19, 2013

We woke up early and immediately went to the farm of Choi, the name of the groom. We saw the rubber trees, the pond and definitely the farm. We took some pictures. For an hour, we just stroll around the farm.


We had our late breakfast and early lunch at the house of Choi. After an hour of preparation, we are now ready to invade Chiang Rai. We went to the Goldent Triangle, the boundary of Laos, Myanmar and Thailand and saw the Maekong River. We also went to the great White Temple.

After the tour, we went back to the house and prepare for the departure back to Bangkok. Around 5:00 pm, we bid farewell to our new found friends and went back to Bangkok.

Day 6: August 20, 2013

We arrived at Bangkok around 6:00 am. Since it’s early, we visit a friend of my B near the Yanhee Hospital. It is Ara who accompanies us since she knew the friend of B. We ate our breakfast at a friend and jump off to the apartment of Shayne.  The apartment of Shayne is very far from Yanhee, we took the BTS.

We arrived at Shayne’s apartment late; it is already 11:00 am and this is because of the traffic in Bangkok. We just rest for a while and prepare ourselves for the shopping time. Shayne accompany us to a place like divisoria where we can buy cheap clothes. We bought our pasalubong there.

After the shopping, we went to Shayne’s apartment to prepare for our night flight back to Philippines. We bid farewell to Shayne. I guess it’s so hard to say good bye, Shayne had her tears as we bid her good bye.

We arrived at the airport around 9:00 pm for a 12:00 midnight flight. Sad to say, our flight has been delayed due to the bad weather condition in the Philippines. We sleep at the airport. Around 3:00 am, we had our flight back to Manila.

Day 7: August 21, 2013

Philippines welcomed us around 8:00 in the morning. Our next flight back to General Santos City is around 4:00 pm. Our plan is to visit a place of a friend, however, because of the heavy rain; we decided to stay in the airport.

We had our long wait in the airport when it has been informed to us that our flight has been delayed again until 8:00 pm. We were so tired at that time that we sleep at the airport. Finally, our boarding has been called past 8:00 pm and we arrived at Gensan airport past 10:00 pm. My mom and tin waits for our arrival.

The travel might be exhausting but it was a great experience. I hope to visit Thailand again in the future. Hopefully, I could still see and have some more in other countries. 

This post makes sense after all

When I am absolutely lonely, it is so easy to construct a sentence. But when I am so happy, no words can explain how I feel.

Today, I am not lonely nor happy but here I am writing something in this blog. Right now, I am at my office, staring in my laptop and do not know how to start my work. It seems my mind blocks everything that is about my job. So I decided to take a look at this blog, clicked the post button and decided to type a word. And now I am stuck as I start typing a word, a phrase, a sentence and now I am having two paragraphs.

I do not know if this makes sense. But I just need and I just want to pour out my thoughts here. I am sleepy right now; Since the death of tatay, I find it hard to sleep. Tatay's death brings tear in my eyes and ache in my heart but it is not the reason why I don't want to sleep during night. My body find it hard to sleep early because somehow reality seems better than my dreams. I had a family who loves me, a boyfriend who completely head over heels in love with me, a job that gives me self fulfillment and of course a God who never leaves nor forsake me. So what can I ask for? 

Full moon

I don't know what are things I still want. All I know is that I find myself resltless these days. Maybe I want to contemplate. I want to be alone and talk to God. I want to be with Him for I know in Him I could rest. All I want is to give Him everything of me. I want Him to pour out in me what is not needed and pour in me what I need. I want Him to empty me and fill me up with His Spirit. I want to bring the fire He brought me almost 8 years ago. I want Him here today with me. After all, all I need is Him in my life.

Again, this post had given me answer on what I really need today. Indeed, this post makes sense after all.

Looking Back

I've scanned through my facebook page earlier and I've found so many discoveries and seen things I've never seen before. Looking back at each picture and at each post; I know that I have understand things differently right now. My understanding shifts as I look at a different perspective of my life.

When I was in the moment of despair and grief, I can only see the mountains that I will climb. But when I am so happy, I can only see the blue skies, the flowers, and all the beauties of the earth. But when I look back, I have seen everything including the mountains I've climbed and the valleys I've traversed. It made me wonder if I am who I am today if I missed one mountain in my life. Then I know that things will be different in my life  if I have missed a mountain or a valley.

Looking back, I've seen everything and it made me understand that life is working this way. Whatever happened, the past has made me who I am today. I have to be reminded everyday that I have traversed a difficult path or walked through the valley of happiness in order for me to move on and live my life.

So, if someone would asked me if I would have a chance to remove an ugly thing in my past, would I grab it? My answer would be "No" because everything that happened has a reason, it has never been an accident. For without it, I won't be who I am today.

What I learned in life is by Paulo Coelho

What I learned in life is,

That no matter how good a person is,
sometimes they can hurt you & because of this we must forgive.

It takes years to build trust and only seconds to destroy it ..
We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change..

The circumstances and the environment influence on our lives,
but we are the one who responsible for ourselves..

That you have to control your acts or they will control you..

That patience requires much practice.. that there are people who love us,
but simply don’t know how to show it..

That sometimes the person you think will hurt you and make you fall..
Is instead one of the few who will help you to get up..

You should never tell a child that dreams are fake, it would be a tragedy if they knew..

It’s not always enough to be forgiven by someone,
in most cases you have to forgive yourself first..

That no matter in how many pieces your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop to fix it ..

May be God wants us to meet all the wrong people first before meeting the right one..
So when we finally meet the right one we are grateful for that gift ..

When the door of happiness closes, another door opens..
but often we look so long at the closed one.. we don’t see what was open for us ..

The best kind of a friend is the kind in which you can sit on a porch and walk…
Without saying a word & when you leave it feels it was the best conversation you ever had.

It’s true we don’t know what we have until we find it, but its also true,
we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives..

It only takes a minute to offend someone, an hour to like someone,
a day to love someone, but it takes a life time to forget someone.

Don’t look for appearances, they can be deceiving, don’t go for wealth even that can fade,
Find someone who makes you smile, because it only takes a smile to make a day better,
find what makes your heart smile..

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much..
that you wish you can take them out of your dream and hug them for real..

Dream what you want, go wherever you want to go.. because you have only one life..
and one change to do the things you want to do ..

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything,
they just make the best of everything that comes their way.

The best future is based on the forgotten past..

You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Tatay

Indeed, nothing is permanent in this world.

Just last night, I know that deep inside my heart I am aching. I am grieving for the death of tatay. I called him tatay because that’s how he is to my father. Though tatay is not the father of my dad, he is the one who acts to be his father since the death of his brother, my father’s real dad, when my dad is still a teenager.

So, who is tatay to me? He is the best lolo I ever had. I can’t describe how a loving lolo or tatay he is to me and to my brother. Though I am now in mid-twentys, I can still remember my childhood memories with him. In my younger years, we are living in a place where tatay is very near with us. I guessed most of my time is spent in their house when I was a child since my mom and dad have to go to their work. I also remember how tatay defended me in front of my drunked tito when my tito is about to hit me when I was a kid. I was afraid with my tito back then and I am so glad that tatay is there for me. Also, I won’t forget the time when a “pabo” try to run to me  in their house when I was little and he would just tell the story again and again to me. Those are just some of my childhood memories with tatay.

Even we’ve transferred to our new house in marbel when I was six years old, I would still take all the chances given to me to stay in tatay’s house in our barrio. I and my brother would still sleep in their house. There are so many times that we’ve slept together with nanay and tatay. There was even a time where they are renovating their house and my brother and I would sleep in their house that my brother cried and cried because there is no electric fan there at night. Tatay would go to marbel to convey my brother even at the midst of the night. That’s how my tatay loves us.

Tatay and Nanay during Tatay's 70th birthday

During my teenage years, we would go every Sunday in barrio to visit them. Their entire family never forget to invite us during special occassions. We would even spend our christmas with them and not in the house of my lola, the mother of my father nor with my other titos and titas, the sibings of my father. Just last Christmas, I took all of my chance to make tatay happy, I gave him a small amount of money as a gift to him. I remember calling him when we are about to go home and I am already at the car, I just give him the money and he was very glad with it. Just this february during his birthday, I never hesitate to give tatay a cake. No one asked me to do this but I just feel giving him that. At that moment after singing happy birthday to him, I asked nanay and tatay if I could take a picture of them together and gladly they did. I am so amazed how they grow old together that It made me wish that I would be growing old with the person I love and who loves me someday. This is how I love tatay very much.

When I was in college, I remember that there was a time that I’m thinking about death and thought about apong and tatay. I said to myself that when tatay died and I can’t go home, it would be very sad on my part that I would cry and cry and cry. Now that I am here in Marbel and I’ve watched how he died last night, I am in grieved that I don’t know how to describe what I feel. It was a night of sorrow and despair that somehow I cannot contain everything that happened. Tatay has his faith that he would be healed. He doesn’t want to die yet. I can attest to it when we brought him to a known faith healer in acurong. My brother, nanay, tatay, uncle and another lolo accompany tatay to tacurong. After the said healing, I can’t forget how tatay would tell the story about what happened to him. He even talked to me about it and in order to encourage him more, I respond positively with it. He really believed that he would be healed. Sadly, a month after the said healing, he was hospitalized again. This time, he got worst.

My mom have given him an herbal medicine last Saturday during the birthday of his grandson, my cousin. I even asked my mom how much the said medicine thinking that I can give one to him. Unfortunately, just last Sunday night, tatay became weak. They called us that to get a priest for his confession and so we went there. After the confession from the priest, I never hesitate to touch tatay and whisper a prayer of healing for him. I prayed, and prayed and prayed with faith for his recovery. I even kiss him in his forehead, I want him to feel that I love him even in those little ways. When we went back last monday night, tatay’s body is giving up when mommy else, my favorite aunt, said that he can’t talk anymore. But still, I keep my hopes, having faith that he would still recover. My brother even brought a faith healer last Wednesday afternoon, just having faith that he could still be healed.

But just last night, April 23, 2013, around 8:00 pm, I called mommy else and asked the condition of tatay. She seems to have a happy voice that night so I thought everything is well with tatay. But when she rushly said goodbye and almost everyone in tatay’s house is crying, she turns off the call. I then received a text from my brother that tatay’s condition has been worsen. I, Jr, and my little sister rushed to the barrio. As we arrived there, there was just silence. My cousin debbie told me to enter the house and go to tatay. Tatay is still there but barely breathing. Almost everyone is crying, talking to him. And just around 9:30pm, Tatay closed his eyes as nanay, his children, niece and nephews, his grandchildren including myself, bid him farewell. That night is filled with mourning, and everyone shed a tear for him. I cried, and cried and cried. I love Tatay for he is the best tatay in this world.

I know that I’m still mourning today. My heart is still in pain everytime I’m alone and I remember. But I never forget that this thing is a will from a Sovereign God who knows the best for us. I know, that as time passes by, I can fully accept what happened as what Nanay told Tatay during his last breathe, “Tay, ara kami dri tanan, hindi ka magkabalaka kay ara kami diri tanan, batunon ta kung ano ang ihatag sa aton sang Ginoo.” In english, this means that we are all here, don’t worry because we are just here, let’s accept what God would give us. Yes, Nanay is right, we have to accept what God has given us. God has given tatay 70 years of life here on earth, a life that is filled with love, peace and joy. I know that tatay is at peace right now, no more pains for him as he is with the Lord.

And at this moment, I am reminded again that we have our own limitations, we are just mortals and earth is only temporary. Indeed, nothing is permanent in this world. One day, we will all die. Some might go soon, others will follow but all of us will die and leave earth. And when my time comes, I just hope that I am ready to leave and be willing to join the Lord.   

My March 2013

I am not busy. I just don't have the passion to write nowadays. 

Whenever I try to construct a sentence here, my mind is so silent that no word comes from it. But now that I have enough time, I will make an effort to do my best in telling my story for the past month.

March has been a roller coaster ride for me but it was a month where I’ve received so much blessings. First, another year has been added to my age and I am now 26 years old. I’ve thrown a party in our house but some of my expected visitors weren’t able to come for my lolo got his tantrums that most of my titas have to take care of him. But then I still enjoy my birthday.

One week after my birthday, I got a chance to visit Manila again. My employer is sending me for a 3-day training in Quezon City. With this, I got the chance to meet my old friends. I am happy to be with them and so glad to see them. It reminds me of who I am in the past and how I’ve changed a lot, now that I am living in the province. It made me cry whenever I see some of the people I’ve mentored before and now has been encouraging me.

Few days after the training, my dad arrived. And because of this, there are things that I’ve done before that I am not doing right now. Well, maybe because I just don’t want some conflict in our house.

March is also the month where we have our reunion. It’s another time to be united with some of our distant relatives.

This month, I also celebrated holy week differently. We went to Isla Jardin, Glan, Gumasa for a swimming. I’m happy that I have time to bond with my family once again.

March has been great for me since it is time of reunions with my family and friends.

Fear on 26

One more night and another year will be added to my age. I will be turning 26 years old tomorrow and I feel so uneasy with the fact that I am no longer a child. Maybe I just can’t take the reality that years have passed and I am changing and I am no longer the same as before. Or maybe because I know that the next few years, I will be facing another phase of this life, another unknown chapter of my story. And I am afraid that I am not capable to face it. Fear of the unknown, this is what I feel on this last day of my 25 years here on earth.

www.dreamingtreeofthree.blogspot.com

Because of this, I whisper a little prayer to the Lord asking Him to remove every fear that is inside me and replace it with peace and joy. With this I know that He is with me, and I am reminded that He has plans for my life, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. His words in Jeremiah always give me faith that everything will turn out fine as long as I cling into His loving arms.  With His words, I know that I am strengthened at this moment. My fears have been replaced with faith and I am not afraid to face the next chapter of my life because the Lord is with me as He is with me for the last 25 years of my life.

Indeed He was with my especially last year where I have faced mountains after mountains. Whenever I feel alone, He was there to comfort me. Whenever I feel giving up, He was there to remind me that I must go on because I will be seeing the sun after the rain. Whenever I am hurt, He was there to wipe my tears. Whenever I am lost, He was there to guide me to the right way. Whenever I feel losing, He took the battle for me so that I can have the victory. Yes, my last year is a roller coaster ride but He is with me.

Tomorrow I will be turning 26 and I know that Lord is telling me this:

 “Don’t be afraid my child, Don’t be afraid.”

And these words are enough for me to be confident every day of my life. 

I ADORE YOU JESUS

I adore You Jesus.

Truly, You are faithful Lord. And I am so overwhelmed that I want to post how magnificent You are in my life. Despite my mistakes and failures for the past years, You are still there holding me and telling me that I am Yours. 

Lord, thank you for the good times because I know that you continue to be with me. Thank you for making me happy because it brings blessing to other people. The smile you've painted in my face is one thing that I am grateful for. You've bring joy and peace in my life that no one else can ever give.

Also, thank you for the days that I am lonely. For this way, you've express your power as the greatest comforter of all times. Your loving arms serve as my pillows at night so that I can rest. It is you who made me feel that despite all the troubles in this life, I am not alone. Thank you because in these days I am strengthened.

And lastly, thank You for this freedom. Thank You Jesus for saving me from my sins. Indeed, you have set me free when you've died at the cross and have risen again. Only in your name there is truly freedom and I adore You for that.

Truly, you are magnificent and I cannot compare you to no one. Thank you for everything Lord, not just for the days that I am happy but also for the days that I am sad. As I look back upon in my life, I know that you have greater plans for my life because I am now seeing why some things needed to happen. And this is for you to be greater and greater in my life. Thank you Jesus.

I adore You Jesus. Here I am and use me for your greater glory. 

Until we meet again

I can still remember the day when we brought her out of the hospital. We went home first as we made sure that she is already in the ambulance. While riding at the motorcycle, heading to home, I thought of my memories with her. I know that I haven’t known her so well, unlike with my mom and my other cousins, but I have shared some precious memories with her.

I can still remember those times when we got to visit her at Tantangan. Sometimes, at her house or at Tantangan public market where she sells rice. I was young back then that I cannot remember any conversations with her.  All I know is that when we visit her at her house, she will ask my cousin to buy “pepsi or coke” at the store so that we can have merienda together.

When she had her eye operated, she stayed at our house for a while, not just days nor weeks, but for months. I would accompany her to the bank to get her pension and she gladly gave me money from it. With her money, I will buy “pepsi or coke” at the store and we will drink it together. 

There was also a time when a strong earthquake hits our place and she is staying at my brother’s room. It was night back then and all of us want to go out at our house and find a safe place. My family were already outside the house when I suddenly remember her. She can’t walk out alone since she can’t see back then. I hesitate first whether to fetch her or not. But whenever I remember that she can’t go out alone, I went to my brother’s room and fetch her. Together, we went outside. I cannot forgive myself if ever I did not fetch her. Gladly, I did. 

There was also a time during summer that it is only the three of us in the house. I am with her and with my sister. My sister and I cannot go out together since no one will take good care of her at the house. I confess my attitude back then because I am frustrated that I cannot go out with my sister because of her. But without it, I won’t be having these good memories with her.

But when she got well, she decided to go back to Tantangan. Almost 2 years ago, when I got back here at Marbel, my mom and I decided to attend the church at tantangan every Sunday so that we can visit her. She is glad that we came there and she keeps telling me that she want to visit in our house but our uncle won’t allow it because there will be no one who will attend her at our house. And that’s true, because my mom and I got a work. So, we just find a time to visit her at Tantangan once in a while.

However, last year, we weren’t able to visit her that much. But we visited her on her 89^th birthday and she was happy because we came. I gave her a cake and she was glad with it. She said that she was already old and she is happy that there is gathering on her birthday. After that day, I know that apong, my grandmother is happy with her life especially when she sees us happy with our lives.

We last visited her at Tantangan last January 1. My mom and I cried when we visited her for she already forgot our names. She is so thin and my aunt says that she is not taking her bath anymore and she seldom eats. I remember giving her some money for her “pepsi or coke” and she looks at me so much gratitude in her heart. When we went home, I said to myself that we should visit her more frequently.

Unfortunately, last January 23, she was admitted at the hospital. She was so thin and my uncle is telling us that she doesn’t want to eat anymore. She can’t even speak at that time. I kiss her at the forehead. She is really happy whenever someone kisses her. For a few days, we decided to get her out at the hospital for she refuses her medicines. Her only wish is to see her children for one more time.

8 out of 10 of her children already paid a visit to her last February 1. My other aunts arrived last February 2 and they got to visit and see Apong. Just minutes after their arrival, Apong took her last breath and died. I wasn’t there when she stopped breathing but I know that she had her wish granted before she died.

Actually, even her death is her answered prayer. She told my mom at the hospital that she already wishes to die. And so, the Lord answered her prayer on a Saturday morning of February 2, 2013. She was 89 years old and I know that she lived a life. It was a good way to die when you know that you already fulfilled your mission here on earth. As for my apong, I know that she did.

So just like the lyrics of the song “God be with you, till we meet again” at her burial day, this will also be my words for you.

Till we meet, till we meet, Till we meet at Jesus’ feet; Till we meet, till we meet, God be with you till we meet again.

Until we meet again Apong Justina.

My Amazing January 2013

It's always great to celebrate the everyday of your life with the people you love. So, here is the compilation of my pictures together with the people I love most. My everyday moments with them is so precious that I want to share it here. With the pictures, I know that I had an amazing January 2013. 

So, here is the description of each picture. From the top right to left.

1. Roses from my love and a super mario cap from my brother
2. My mom and my brother at KFC
3. My babe and I at Shielas Park during the farewell party of my friend
4. Myself wearing the cap that has given to my by my brother
5. Socoteco-1 joins the parade during Hinugyaw Festival
6. Me and my babe at Gensan Drive during Hinugyaw Fest
7. Me and my babe with the participant at the Hinugyaw Fest
8. Me and my babe at KFC
9. Me and my babe outside Jollibee
10. Me and my babe at Shiela's Park (same as above)
11. My babe and I together with Mutya's niece at Tampakan Fest
12. Me and my niece Angel while visiting lola
13. My mom and I during Hinugyaw fest
14. My cousin tin tin, mom and my brother at SM Gensan
15. The technical engineers from Socoteco-1 during the parade
16. Me and my babe at biarong

OUR VOW

I can still remember

The day we first met

You haven’t said a word

You barely notice me

The day you talked to me

My heart skips a bit

Smile, this is what you said

And my soul is amazed

Your intelligence and wit

Your simplicity and ease

Becomes your weapon

To captivate my heart

And now that we’re together

My life turned into bliss

For I live full of love

And a joy in my heart

So thank you my love

For staying with me

Despite the hard times

You still love me

I hope you’re the one

Sent from heaven above

Though I’m not sure yet

But I am praying for it

I know sometimes it’s hard

But let’s keep Him our guide

Surely He won’t let us down

When we feel giving up

Let us always keep our vow

The promise we made before

That we will love each other

Today and forever

Another Chance.

The previous night I asked for another chance. Another chance to make things right again. I know that I’ve taken you for granted for a very long time and I am sorry for it. I know that I’ve hurt you badly that you decided to give up and I terribly apologize for it. And since you’ve given me this another chance, I just hope that I can make things better again, better than what has been before.

I am writing this because I want to make the best of this another chance. This post is declaring my love for you. I want to take all of your doubts and put it in a locked chest box and throw away the key in the deepest ocean. I want to heal your heart and make it whole again. I want to pour out my love for you until you will be satisfied. I want to keep you with me forever.   But I can’t do this; I need our God to help me do this and I have this faith that He will give me the best on this another chance.

This post might be short but I want to tell you that I do love you. I will wait patiently for your heart to be whole again. And I won’t be messing up with this chance again. I will do my best to make everything right. I hope that you won’t give up for I won’t. May God be with us as we do this together. Let us ask Him to lead us into the right path. I love you and I will always do.

A Consistent Prayer Life

This is my ultimate faith goal for this year's prayer and fasting. I want to have a consistent prayer life this 2013. It is my desire to seek Him and know His will for my life. I know that I can only do this through the help of the Holy Spirit.

I just listened to the podcast of the Beyond Normal Series right now and I am greatly encourage to live a life that is beyond the average. Indeed it is true that we can only live a beyond normal life when we are filled by the Holy Spirit. Once the Holy Spirit is within us, we can say no to the sinful nature and we can say yes to what God wants us to do in this life. 

I know that the past few years for me is tough, knowing that I've been away from my spiritual family. Because of this, I eventually begin to lose my habit of praying. I confess that I always forgot to do my quiet time and if I am doing it, I am easily distracted. So this year, It is my goal to have a Spiritual revival and I can start this by having a consistent prayer life. It is my desire that He would fill me up with His Spirit. I want to live a life that is beyond normal, beyond mediocrity. I want excellence when it comes to my relationship with my Father in Heaven.

I hope that as you read this, you will be my partner in prayer this year. I really wish that you can welcome me as your sister in Christ as we continue to pray for all the faith goals that we have this year. I know that the Lord wants us to be united and He wants us to tell the world how great He is in our lives. So I am calling everyone who desires to have a consistent prayer life to join with me this year and let us pray for God's will here on Earth. Just messaged me if you want to have a consistent prayer life as we move towards the will of God in our lives. :)