When I am absolutely lonely, it is so easy to construct a sentence. But when I am so happy, no words can explain how I feel.
Today, I am not lonely nor happy but here I am writing something in this blog. Right now, I am at my office, staring in my laptop and do not know how to start my work. It seems my mind blocks everything that is about my job. So I decided to take a look at this blog, clicked the post button and decided to type a word. And now I am stuck as I start typing a word, a phrase, a sentence and now I am having two paragraphs.
I do not know if this makes sense. But I just need and I just want to pour out my thoughts here. I am sleepy right now; Since the death of tatay, I find it hard to sleep. Tatay's death brings tear in my eyes and ache in my heart but it is not the reason why I don't want to sleep during night. My body find it hard to sleep early because somehow reality seems better than my dreams. I had a family who loves me, a boyfriend who completely head over heels in love with me, a job that gives me self fulfillment and of course a God who never leaves nor forsake me. So what can I ask for?
I don't know what are things I still want. All I know is that I find myself resltless these days. Maybe I want to contemplate. I want to be alone and talk to God. I want to be with Him for I know in Him I could rest. All I want is to give Him everything of me. I want Him to pour out in me what is not needed and pour in me what I need. I want Him to empty me and fill me up with His Spirit. I want to bring the fire He brought me almost 8 years ago. I want Him here today with me. After all, all I need is Him in my life.
Again, this post had given me answer on what I really need today. Indeed, this post makes sense after all.
Today, I am not lonely nor happy but here I am writing something in this blog. Right now, I am at my office, staring in my laptop and do not know how to start my work. It seems my mind blocks everything that is about my job. So I decided to take a look at this blog, clicked the post button and decided to type a word. And now I am stuck as I start typing a word, a phrase, a sentence and now I am having two paragraphs.
I do not know if this makes sense. But I just need and I just want to pour out my thoughts here. I am sleepy right now; Since the death of tatay, I find it hard to sleep. Tatay's death brings tear in my eyes and ache in my heart but it is not the reason why I don't want to sleep during night. My body find it hard to sleep early because somehow reality seems better than my dreams. I had a family who loves me, a boyfriend who completely head over heels in love with me, a job that gives me self fulfillment and of course a God who never leaves nor forsake me. So what can I ask for?
 |
| Full moon |
I don't know what are things I still want. All I know is that I find myself resltless these days. Maybe I want to contemplate. I want to be alone and talk to God. I want to be with Him for I know in Him I could rest. All I want is to give Him everything of me. I want Him to pour out in me what is not needed and pour in me what I need. I want Him to empty me and fill me up with His Spirit. I want to bring the fire He brought me almost 8 years ago. I want Him here today with me. After all, all I need is Him in my life.
Again, this post had given me answer on what I really need today. Indeed, this post makes sense after all.
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