Is it a Love at First Sight?

“I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very instant we see the man of our dreams, even though, at the time, reason may be telling us otherwise, and we may fight against that instinct, hoping against hope that we won’t win, until there comes a point when we allow ourselves to be vanquished by our feelings.” – Paulo Coehlo, Eleven Minutes

I am just struck with this quote by Paulo Coehlo. As I read this once again, I realize that this is true to me. Because when I first saw him, I literally told myself that I won’t be in love with this man.

It was in the airport when I first saw him while he is talking to my friend. As I look upon him, I think instantly that I won’t allow myself to be in love with him. The moment I think of it, it seems something inside me is telling that I will like him, that I will be in love with him in the future.

I tried to hide it, I tried not to think about it. But I keep seeing him that I seem to be addicted of his presence. I keep on looking at him in places where I know I could see him. I keep on hoping that one day he will recognize me, that he will talk to me.

Until one day, a miracle happened when I got my opportunity to talk to him. He might be mesmerized on how I speak to everybody during a convocation, thus he first uttered the words “smile” at me. And that day seems to be one of the best days of my life. The smile in my face is unforgettable that I could always remember the feeling until today.

Days and weeks passed, he asked for my number. He began texting me. I did not mind it at first until one day I give up and keep on replying to his messages. And we go out on our first date where we ate ice cream in a cold and rainy night. Series of dates came, and little did I know that I am obsessed to be with him, that every moment spent with him is special. 

Until one day, I just allowed myself to be vanquished by my feelings for him. And when the night we first prayed, I know that he is the man that I am going to marry. I love him and I want to build a future with him.

And now that I am engaged with him, I keep on asking myself when was the point that I began to love him. Do you think it is a love at first sight? Well, I think it doesn't really matter now, what matters now is that I have a life time to spend it with him and I am happy. 

Escapade to the North

It is my goal to travel to new places every year as much as possible. It is my dream to see the beautiful places in the Philippines and to see the world.

I never planned to travel this year as I want to prepare for my big day next year. But due to some reason, I was able to travel to the Northern part of the Philippines, the Ilocos Region. Since it was a long weekend and we were in Manila, we decided to extend our trip and escape to the North.

It is only eight of us who went there via a tour package. Our meet up point is at SM Mall of Asia on a Saturday, around 8:00 in the evening. 

We arrived at Vigan around 5:30 in the morning. Since it is so early, we took the opportunity to take pictures while only few people are around.

Calle Crisologo in the morning

Calle Crisologo in the morning (different camera)

Since it is Sunday, we then went to Bantay Church and some of us got a chance to enter the Church while the mass still ongoing. We had our selfie at Bantay Belltower.

Selfie with the Bantay Tower

We proceed to eat our breakfast at Grandpas Inn and Restaurant where we ate the famous longganisa of Ilocos Sur. 

Ladies at the Grandpas Inn and Restaurant

Breakfast at Kusina Felicitas

We didn't had a chance to take a bath, thus we just washed up at the comfort room at Grandpas Inn and Restaurant. Then, we proceed to Baluarte. Look at my selfie with the tiger.

Selfie with the shy tiger.

After Baluarte, we went to the Hidden Garden. They offered the tea as we enter in the place. There is no entrance fee in the garden but they are selling different kinds of plants.

Poinsettias at the Hidden Garden

After the tour in Ilocos Sur, we proceeded to the Ilocos Norte. Our first stop is the Juan Luna Shrine.

Waiting for Parokyanos at Juan Luna Shrine

After the Juan Luna Shrine, We went to Marcos Museum. I met my college friend, Kaye, in Marcos Museum. Cameras are not allowed inside the Museum where President Marcos is placed.

Marcos House

Short meeting with my college friend, Kaye

We then went to Paoay Church. It is so hot but we still managed to take some pictures.

Paoay Church

After Paoay Church, we proceeded to Malacanang of the North.

The President's Office at the Malacanang of the North

Waiting for Harana by my lover at Malacanang of the North

Then, we eat our lunch before we went to Fort Ilocandia. We really took a lot of pictures.

Fort Ilocandia

Around 2:00 in the afternoon, we proceeded to Suba Paoay Sand dunes. This is the best part of the trip as you experienced to ride in the 4x4 vehicle and be mesmerized of the natural sand dunes. We also got a chance to have a sand boarding.

Ready for the 4x4 vehicle ride

Jump shot with my picture buddy, Aning

Sand Boarding

Wherever I go, I try to have a jump shot alone!

After the Sand Dunes, we travel to Pagudpud, the northern part of Ilocos Norte. Before going to the beach, we went to see the famous Bangui Windmill at the beach side. Unfortunately, the battery of my phone died that I wasn't able to get a selfie there.

We then went to Pagudpud beach and arrived there around 6:00 in the evening. We eat our dinner and took some rest.

Around 6:00 in the morning, we went to the famous Blue Lagoon Beach in Pagudpud. It is low tide when we went there and the waves are strong that we are afraid to really swim. But we managed to play with the waves and took pictures.

Beaching with the bitches at Pagudpud :)

We went back to the Homestay where we can take a bath. Then, we went to the famous Cave and had our pictures taken.

Bantay Abot Cave

Then, we went to the famous bridge made by Marcos. The former President is really brilliant, thinking of this kind of bridge.

Patapat Viaduct Pagudpud

After that, we went to Kapurpurawan Rock Formation. The rock formation is beautiful as it is located near the beach and you can see a lot of Windmills there.

Kapurpurawan Rock Formation showing both the beach and the windmill

After the Kapurpurawan, we went to the Light House where we stayed for a very long time. It is so good to stay in there.

The view at the top of the Cape Bojeador Lighthouse

After the Light House, we went back to Vigan to watch the dancing fountain. While we are waiting for it, we went to the Pottery to buy pasalubong. While my friends bought shirts, I had a chance to watch how to make a pot.

Then, we had our Kalesa Ride around Vigan. It seems I went back to the old times while riding Kalesa. Vigan really preserved the history of the Philippines as the streets are named Kalye and not Street.

Kalesa Ride

Kalye Crisologo at Night

Then, we ate our dinner at Calle Crisologo tasting the famous "Bagnet". We then watched the dancing fountain at the Vigan Plaza. After watching, we decided to stroll around the plaza and went home.We arrived in Manila around 6 in the morning. It was a short escapade but a worth trip.

There are so many things I love about

There are so many things I love about you.
I love the way you kiss me,
I love the way you tease me,
I love the way you make me laugh,
I love the way you give me hug.

There are so many things I love about us.
I love our convo together,
where it seems it is forever.
I love when we pray together,
And ask God to make us better.

There are so many things I want to tell you.
Thank you for coming in my life,
For giving joy and happiness.
Thank you for accepting me,
For loving me each and every day.

There are so many reasons why I write this.
To make you smile for a while,
And forget the work to be done.
To let you know that I remember,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY my only one.

Amo a mi Familia

“Amo a mi familia”

This is the Spanish words for I love my Family. Yes, I do love my parents and my siblings, they are God gifts to me.

It took years for us to be complete again because of the work of my brother and father. And now that we have a chance to be complete, we didn’t miss any chance for us to have our little vacation together at the beach.

I had an awesome experience with my family this October as we went to beach. We swim together, play together and eat together. 

I love them and I am always thankful to have them in my life.

Scrabble Poem

Cee, Vee, and Zee

Ka, Ki and Ko

Let us play a game

A battle of the mind

Aa, Ee, Ea, and Oi

Two vowel words

Mm, Hm, and Cwm

All consonant words

VA- Centus, VE–Getx

VI-Ged Damns,VO-Wex

Remember these V’s

It will help you along the way

Memorize them one by one

Or else you’ll lose the game

In order for you to win

Be mind of your words to play

Again and again

Make sure to form a word

Either two or three

As long as the score is high

One last trick is this

Rearrange your tiles

Form a seven letter word

And hit the scrabble board

Dear B

Dear B,

If ever I will be asked how I knew that it is you whom I will be spending my life with, my answer will be simple. God whispered it to me. Yes, He did and I will always believe on that. It was the night when you asked me to pray for both of us, and that very night, I knew that it is you whom God has given me to be my partner in life.

I know that I am not a perfect girlfriend to you, I’ve done a lot of mistakes in this relationship. You’ve known me during the worst part of my life. And yet, you remain strong for both of us. You’ve accepted me for who I am. And despite of what I’ve done, you still have the courage to ask me if I am willing to be your wife.  I can still remember the days you’ve asked me that question. Once when we were riding in your motorcycle, in a parking area where there are so many people around us and another one when we were riding a ferris wheel.

Thank you because you’ve accepted me for who I am. And thank you because being with you I become a better woman. Your love made me feel safe and secure. Your love made me who I am today.

I want you to know that I love you more than ever. I don’t know how you do it, but I love you more and more each day. Always remember that I will always keep my promise to you and that is to love you for the rest of my life. May God be the center of this relationship, and May He will be honored through us. I love you so much B!

Love,

Shean 

In the middle of the busy crowd

Being alone in the middle of a busy crowd seems to be a nostalgia for some. But for me, I feel that was the best part that happened to me that night.

It is in the middle of the night when I choose to leave the group and go home. As I walked towards my car, those minutes while I am walking alone in the middle of the busy crowd, I feel the person I am.

People around me are partying. They are both singing and listening to the band that is playing along the streets of Alunan Avenue. People are drinking liquor, some are busy consuming it with a cigarette in their hands. Some men and women flirt with each other, some couple are holding their hands while walking. There are others that they bring their families with them just to enjoy the festival. Vendors are also busy selling the items in their hands. And there are also some who is just like me, walking alone, going somewhere to wander and be part of the event.

While experiencing all of these things, I feel so much of myself. My mind and my heart is telling me that I am happy despite the loudliness of music and the craziness of people around me. Being alone in the middle of the crowd is not at all a melancholy, instead it brought a positive effect in me.

I thought I can only achieve the said feeling when I am just alone in my room. But it is exactly the opposite of it; it is in the middle of the busy crowd where I can pause and stop, where I can prove that sometimes we don’t need to be alone just to contemplate on things, and that sometimes we need to observe the people around us to appreciate who we are.

Because at that moment, while I am walking in the middle of the crowd, I realized that I am no longer the person who I am five years ago, and that I am already a changed person. At that time, I accepted that there are things that we cannot change and we need to accept all the changes it brought to us even if it is us who changes throughout time.

And it is in the middle of the busy crowd where I learn to accept all of these things.

Hey, you're back. I miss you.

“Hey, you’re back. I miss you.”

These are the words that this blog shall utter if it can just talk and pour its thoughts. I am glad that it can’t because our friendship might be over during the times I ignore writing.

I don’t feel the need to write but I just want to write. Maybe I miss telling my stories in an internet site where I am not sure whether someone will read it. I am not a writer but I love sharing my stories through writing.

Recently, I find myself alone which means I got no one to talk to, no family, no friends at all. I don’t know what did I do wrong but this is what I feel. I have those old friends whom I really considered friends for life but when I try to buzz them, they seem to be busy, seem to really doesn’t care. They said that they are just there but when they don’t need you, they already forget you. You will just know that there are meet ups and have their dinner together in a social media sites. When you like it, all they say is they wish that you are there but they did not even invite you, did not even bother to inform you. And so I said to myself that maybe this is no friendship at all.

When I turn to my family where I want or need to be with them, they try to reject me as if I am no one in the family. And if you try to call your relatives, it seems they only wanted you because you’ve got something to give to them.

And so, I wonder if I got sick, bed ridden in an hospital with no money in my pocket, will someone be there for me? I am not really sure. Because I tried it once and my family has just left me alone in the hospital and pointing fingers who will take care of me for the night. The people who visited me those times are the people who seems to care but really don’t know me personally. But the friends that you’ve considered friends for life did not even bother to check on you.

I am sad because this is what I feel. I hate to feel this, but with all honesty, I feel I am rejected by my so-called friends and family. I am hurt because I know I did my best to be the best ate, best friend to them, remembering their birthdays, giving surprises, listening to their stories. But I end up to be just an old friend who is nothing at all. And I am sad with it.

I know that I don’t have to put too much expectations from them so that I won’t be hurt. But I end up disappointed at all. Maybe next time, I don’t have to put too much expectations on my friends or I will be hurt again. I have to remind myself that the only one who has a constant character is God, thus He is the only who keeps His promises and surely I will never be disappointed with Him for He will never leave me nor forsake me even if all of my friends did.

And to this blog, because no matter how many months or years I won’t keep in touch, it will only utter these words: “Hey, you’re back. I miss you.”

What really matters?

Someone once told me that those who don’t have the desire to have it are the one who is given with it. I didn’t ask for this kind of life, I didn’t imagine my life to be where I am right now. But in just a blink of an eye, I got this.

Surprisingly, I am now in the state where I am not sure if I could ask for more in this life. I have a very supportive family, I have a very awesome “boyfriend” who loves me so much and whom I also love, I have a great career ahead of me and I have a great God who made all of these things happen.

And with what I got, I should be the happiest person right now. But honestly, I am not. I don’t know why but I am not happy. I still find myself in an oblivion where I don’t know if all of these things that happening in my life really matters.

Why am I asking this question? Because I know that my life here on earth is only passing. And I know that all of what I am doing is meaningless. One day, everything will be forgotten and no one really cared of who am I. And if the day comes that I will die, I just don’t want to leave a legacy, I want people to remember me that I live a life that really matters.

And so what really matters in this life? I know that I am not just here for no reason at all, I am here to live a life of purpose, a life that the Creator wanted me to have. From worldly perspective, my life seems to be great, but I know that I am not living the life that the Lord wanted me to have. I live greatly in sin, I am not doing the things God wanted me to do and I am very sorry with it. I try to hide that I am okay with it even though that deep inside my heart, I am not. And I know that I have to do something to make things right. I hope that while I am writing this, God would help to start living a life that really matters. I am praying that He will show me the way, He will lead me to the path where all I am doing matters.

A Pilgrimage and Adventure to Lake Holon

It was always in my bucket list to go to the famous Lake Holon in our province together with the love of my life. Just this weekend, one of my bucket list has been checked.

We met around 6:00 in the morning at the front of the Capitol of the province of South Cotabato. Then, we travel to the town proper of T’boli for about 45 minutes. Upon arrival, we asked some “habal habal” drivers to take us to Salacafe, the entry point of Lake Holon. Before we went to Salacafe, we went first to the municipal hall – tourism to enlist ourselves as visitors of the lake. The in-charge is not around at that time since he accompanied one group to Salacafe. Since we can also enlist in the receiving area in Salacafe, we went there without waiting for the in-charge. It was a long and bumpy ride going to Salacafe but we find it fun and adventure going there.

At the Salacafe receiving area, a woman welcomes us. She provided us the guidelines going there, give us a tour guide and offer a prayer for us. Also, She provided us a porter to bring some of our stuffs such as cooking materials and some of our food.  The five of us, Aning, F, Shayne, Jr and me started our walk around 9:30 in the morning together with our tour guide, Rustom. Since we are not used to trek and hike, we always stop. At first, it is very hot since there are only few trees along the way. Around 1km from the starting point, we reached Sitio Nabul where a community is there to welcome us. At the end of the Sitio, there is an area where we can take some rest. We took a rest there for about 5-10 minutes.

Then, we start to walk again. JR is the one who bring our bag, thus I walked without bringing anything except for my phone which I use to take pictures. At the entry point of the forest, I saw the biggest tree I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

We walked, trekked and hiked. Along the way, we see Mt. Parker and Mt. Melibingoy.

After almost two hours of walking, around 11:00 in the morning, we rested in an area where we had our lunch.

After taking at least 20 minutes rest, we walked again. After 15 minutes of walking, we arrived at “kusina ng aswang” where we can already see the lake. We took again some pictures.

After this area, we went downwards, thus the trek is easy compared to the start. After 1 hour of trekking, we arrived at the Lake Holon.

Since we are tired, we just eat some of our food and set our camp to rest and sleep. Around 3 in the afternoon, we woke up and started to explore the site. We also took our pictures.

We also bought some tilapia which is caught by the locals around the lake. Since we have incomplete materials for cooking, we improvise the way we cook our food.

Around 5:30 in the afternoon, we are waiting for the arrival of our friends. However, only the Supervisor of the Lake and a member of the Backpacker of the Philippines named Jayjay arrived. We asked if they notice two guys and one lady along the way. Unfortunately, they did not noticed anyone. So, we were disappointed since they might not be coming. So, someone suggested that we take our dinner. But Jr did not yet lose hope and tell the group to wait until 6:30 in the afternoon. Around that time, Charlie, Marf and Jesus came and we were very glad with it. We chat a little and we ate our dinner. During dinner time, someone suggested to have a bonfire. One group gathered sticks for our bonfire. We set a bonfire in the bonfire place as told by us by the supervisor of the lake. We had a little chat and we decided to sleep.

While we are preparing to sleep, I heard the supervisor talking to his radio that he will go back to salacafe since three person, also friends of jayjay will arrive at the reception area to have night trekking. It was almost 9:00 in the evening when I heard it. So I really guess that the group that will be coming are mountaineers. We fall asleep and we just woke up around 3:00 in the morning when someone from outside the tent is chatting and telling among themselves the excitement of arriving at the camp. I also heard them setting up their tents.

Around 5:30 in the morning, we woke up. It is a very very cold night that I am shivering because of it. Looking around the lake is a very beautiful creation of the Lord. Jr and I prayed and thanked God for the wonders of its beauty. The sunrise is really really great.

Around 7:00 in the morning, Shayne, Jr and I decided to swim the lake. We borrowed the lifevest from Kuya Supervisor and swim at the lake. At first, I am very hesistant to swim since it is the lake. However, I conquered my fear when I go to where Jr and Shayne swims.

Around 9:30 in the afternoon, we start our trek again, this time to go home. The trek going home is easy and cool since we had so much time to wander around the forest.

Unfortunately, along the way, Marf tripped and made her foot sprain again. So, we wait for them while we trek that is why it took us almost 4 hours of trekking. We arrived around 1:00 in the afternoon at Salacafe. It was the first time where Jr and I went trekking and camping. Indeed, it was a great adventure.

Starting Our Journey to Forever

A love that will last, this is what I dream of since I was a child. When he asked me that night, I can’t help myself not to cry. Tears just flow from my eyes as I asked myself silently if everything is real.

It is exactly 12 midnight of February 28, 2015 when he asked me if I want to ride the Ferris wheel in MOA. I had a bit of hunch that something is going on since it is our 28^th monthsary. Our 28^th monthsary should fall on February 29, 2015 but because it is not a leap year, there is no 29^th day of February. And so when he asked me to go to a ride, I positively responded at him with a feeling of joy and excitement. Then, he talked to the operator if we can specifically ride at Cab 28 which is responded by the operator positively.

While we were in Cab 28 and the ferris wheel is moving upward, he began to utter some words “Hindi ko na ‘to patatagalin pa”. He pulled something from his bag with a red box on it. When I saw it, I found myself crying; tears just flow from my eyes. It is indeed a different thing when the love of your life ask you to spend forever with you. On his knees, He asked me these words, “Do you want to be my Shean Munar?” which I responded positively. I cannot remember the exact words I utter at that moment because I am not prepared of what should I supposed to say. All I know is that I positively responded on his question. When I asked him about the exact words I said to him, he actually quoted me with my response: “Oo naman, syempre.”

I remember him telling me that maybe there is nobody else witnesses his proposal, but he said, “Buong Metro Manila ang nakawitness” since he gave me the ring when we are at the top of the ferriswheel, above 180ft of the ground. We took our picture together while the ferris wheel is moving. I wiped my tears because I know that in a while, the operator will be opening the doors of our cab.

While we were at the bottom, the operators didn’t seem to notice us and we were up again. I feel so happy because even nakisabay rin ang operators for they did not let us spoil the moment. I looked at him wondering whether he planned or talked to them before the ride. Since I want to enjoy the moment, I never mind it as long as I got to chance to enjoy the ride one more time. While we are on our way to our second ride, He asked me to dance. I am a little bit afraid since we were at the top and the cab is slightly moving. But that dance is the sweetest dance that I have in my entire life. We dance while the ferriswheel is moving while I am singing a line from the song, "Ikaw". We dance while I am humming “Ikaw ang bigay ng Maykapal, Tugon sa aking dasal…”. Because I believe that God really destined us to be where we are right now. We actually prayed while we were at the top, we prayed for our relationship to grow and be guided by the One who made it all possible, by God. We asked Him to be the center of our relationship and to give us all we need as we start our journey together.

When we are about to go out from the cab, I looked at the ring he gave me and told myself that I am really engaged. I feel so much joy at that moment and it is the best twenty minutes of my life. I know that we are now starting of our journey to forever.

My dream

Most of the time, I dream; I dream to be an artist where I can express myself fully. I want to be who I am in a place where I can be me.

There is so much to do at my work today, but I cannot concentrate in anything. As I look upon myself and the people around me, I think I am not in the right place.

Lead me Lord. This is what I pray every day as I go to work. I am not sure what to do with these people, I am not sure how can I motivate them, how can I inspire them to do excellently. My heart longs to give them hope but I am not sure if I can do it.

God puts me here, He expanded my territory. I pray that He will also give me the strength and all my needs to do what I ought to do. Yes, most of the time I dream, and I dream that I can express my gratitude to these people who works their very best to achieve our goals and I know that I don’t really need to be an artist for me to achieve this dream. May God be with me in this.