I received two death notices from the province this morning. First, the father of my friend has been shot and second, my batch mate during my elementary days has met a tragic accident. Both of them are just strangers to me, I know them by name but I never really knew them.
After those shocking news, I continue to do my ordinary routines. I ate my brunch and went to the library to study for my one o’clock exam. I solve some problems and memorize the formulas. And after that, I took our 6th long exam in ME 63. The problem given to me is one of the exercise problems in the book. Unfortunately I miss solving that part, so I never get the right answer.
After that depressing exam, Raph and I went to the cafeteria to eat. We chat a little on how we failed to answer the problems and how are we going to do good next time. Then, we wait for George in front of the department office. We chat again while waiting. After George came, we decided to go home.
While walking from Engineering to Ilang-Ilang (my beloved dorm), I was thinking of things I needed to do. I’m thinking if I’m going to watch a movie, read a book, sleep or study for another final exam which is three days from now. Those are the thoughts inside my head until I end up here in my desk, writing an account of what had happened today.
I find myself unmotivated these past few days especially after the submission and presentation of our feasibility paper. It was the paper which we spent nights without sleeping, the paper where my group mates and I argue because of stress and all other petty things, the paper which we give all our tremendous efforts yet submitted late. Perhaps because of that, I am procrastinating for almost four days right now.
But is the reason enough to procrastinate until now? I really don’t know. All I know is that I want this semester to end. And perhaps, it is because I’m tired of giving my more than enough and yet the result was not good. Or maybe, I’m just tired of doing all of those things yet end up to be a mediocre. It seems I’m doing all of those important things in my life but end up tired because I cannot see the fruits of my labour. But do I need to see it so that I’ll be motivated to do it again? I guess not.
If I could read and take a look again the stories of great men and women of God in the bible, I would know the answer. They don’t understand what is happening in their lives, they even don’t know where they would exactly go, but they have faith in God. They trust God enough that they obey even it was so unreasonable in human mind to do it. Abraham followed when he have to give Isaac as sacrifice, Noah followed even he would be like a fool building an arc without rain, and Moses followed until the end even if until the very last, he only see the promise land from afar. They all followed.
How about me? What should I do if I am not properly motivated to do all of those important things? Shall I end up doing nothing and staring at the ceiling in my room because all I could see right now are failures or hopelessness? Or shall I follow and obey God because I know that He has plans for me and because there are so many reasons to follow?
Life, here on earth, is too short. The death notices I’ve received earlier can be a test with that. And because of it, I don’t want to waste it. There are maybe times like this, times where I could not understand, and times where I am tired to continue because of the current results I’m seeing but these times are the best times to always remember that God is faithful in His promises; all I need is to trust in Him. People and circumstances will disappoint me, but God will not.
As I end up doing this, I realize that writing my thoughts will help me knowing and solving the mind boggling issues I am encountering. Haha! :D
After those shocking news, I continue to do my ordinary routines. I ate my brunch and went to the library to study for my one o’clock exam. I solve some problems and memorize the formulas. And after that, I took our 6th long exam in ME 63. The problem given to me is one of the exercise problems in the book. Unfortunately I miss solving that part, so I never get the right answer.
After that depressing exam, Raph and I went to the cafeteria to eat. We chat a little on how we failed to answer the problems and how are we going to do good next time. Then, we wait for George in front of the department office. We chat again while waiting. After George came, we decided to go home.
While walking from Engineering to Ilang-Ilang (my beloved dorm), I was thinking of things I needed to do. I’m thinking if I’m going to watch a movie, read a book, sleep or study for another final exam which is three days from now. Those are the thoughts inside my head until I end up here in my desk, writing an account of what had happened today.
I find myself unmotivated these past few days especially after the submission and presentation of our feasibility paper. It was the paper which we spent nights without sleeping, the paper where my group mates and I argue because of stress and all other petty things, the paper which we give all our tremendous efforts yet submitted late. Perhaps because of that, I am procrastinating for almost four days right now.
But is the reason enough to procrastinate until now? I really don’t know. All I know is that I want this semester to end. And perhaps, it is because I’m tired of giving my more than enough and yet the result was not good. Or maybe, I’m just tired of doing all of those things yet end up to be a mediocre. It seems I’m doing all of those important things in my life but end up tired because I cannot see the fruits of my labour. But do I need to see it so that I’ll be motivated to do it again? I guess not.
If I could read and take a look again the stories of great men and women of God in the bible, I would know the answer. They don’t understand what is happening in their lives, they even don’t know where they would exactly go, but they have faith in God. They trust God enough that they obey even it was so unreasonable in human mind to do it. Abraham followed when he have to give Isaac as sacrifice, Noah followed even he would be like a fool building an arc without rain, and Moses followed until the end even if until the very last, he only see the promise land from afar. They all followed.
How about me? What should I do if I am not properly motivated to do all of those important things? Shall I end up doing nothing and staring at the ceiling in my room because all I could see right now are failures or hopelessness? Or shall I follow and obey God because I know that He has plans for me and because there are so many reasons to follow?
Life, here on earth, is too short. The death notices I’ve received earlier can be a test with that. And because of it, I don’t want to waste it. There are maybe times like this, times where I could not understand, and times where I am tired to continue because of the current results I’m seeing but these times are the best times to always remember that God is faithful in His promises; all I need is to trust in Him. People and circumstances will disappoint me, but God will not.
As I end up doing this, I realize that writing my thoughts will help me knowing and solving the mind boggling issues I am encountering. Haha! :D
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