What really matters?

Someone once told me that those who don’t have the desire to have it are the one who is given with it. I didn’t ask for this kind of life, I didn’t imagine my life to be where I am right now. But in just a blink of an eye, I got this.

Surprisingly, I am now in the state where I am not sure if I could ask for more in this life. I have a very supportive family, I have a very awesome “boyfriend” who loves me so much and whom I also love, I have a great career ahead of me and I have a great God who made all of these things happen.

And with what I got, I should be the happiest person right now. But honestly, I am not. I don’t know why but I am not happy. I still find myself in an oblivion where I don’t know if all of these things that happening in my life really matters.

Why am I asking this question? Because I know that my life here on earth is only passing. And I know that all of what I am doing is meaningless. One day, everything will be forgotten and no one really cared of who am I. And if the day comes that I will die, I just don’t want to leave a legacy, I want people to remember me that I live a life that really matters.

And so what really matters in this life? I know that I am not just here for no reason at all, I am here to live a life of purpose, a life that the Creator wanted me to have. From worldly perspective, my life seems to be great, but I know that I am not living the life that the Lord wanted me to have. I live greatly in sin, I am not doing the things God wanted me to do and I am very sorry with it. I try to hide that I am okay with it even though that deep inside my heart, I am not. And I know that I have to do something to make things right. I hope that while I am writing this, God would help to start living a life that really matters. I am praying that He will show me the way, He will lead me to the path where all I am doing matters.