Hey, you're back. I miss you.

“Hey, you’re back. I miss you.”

These are the words that this blog shall utter if it can just talk and pour its thoughts. I am glad that it can’t because our friendship might be over during the times I ignore writing.

I don’t feel the need to write but I just want to write. Maybe I miss telling my stories in an internet site where I am not sure whether someone will read it. I am not a writer but I love sharing my stories through writing.

Recently, I find myself alone which means I got no one to talk to, no family, no friends at all. I don’t know what did I do wrong but this is what I feel. I have those old friends whom I really considered friends for life but when I try to buzz them, they seem to be busy, seem to really doesn’t care. They said that they are just there but when they don’t need you, they already forget you. You will just know that there are meet ups and have their dinner together in a social media sites. When you like it, all they say is they wish that you are there but they did not even invite you, did not even bother to inform you. And so I said to myself that maybe this is no friendship at all.

When I turn to my family where I want or need to be with them, they try to reject me as if I am no one in the family. And if you try to call your relatives, it seems they only wanted you because you’ve got something to give to them.

And so, I wonder if I got sick, bed ridden in an hospital with no money in my pocket, will someone be there for me? I am not really sure. Because I tried it once and my family has just left me alone in the hospital and pointing fingers who will take care of me for the night. The people who visited me those times are the people who seems to care but really don’t know me personally. But the friends that you’ve considered friends for life did not even bother to check on you.

I am sad because this is what I feel. I hate to feel this, but with all honesty, I feel I am rejected by my so-called friends and family. I am hurt because I know I did my best to be the best ate, best friend to them, remembering their birthdays, giving surprises, listening to their stories. But I end up to be just an old friend who is nothing at all. And I am sad with it.

I know that I don’t have to put too much expectations from them so that I won’t be hurt. But I end up disappointed at all. Maybe next time, I don’t have to put too much expectations on my friends or I will be hurt again. I have to remind myself that the only one who has a constant character is God, thus He is the only who keeps His promises and surely I will never be disappointed with Him for He will never leave me nor forsake me even if all of my friends did.

And to this blog, because no matter how many months or years I won’t keep in touch, it will only utter these words: “Hey, you’re back. I miss you.”