Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Holding on or Moving Forward

I am not sure what happened or how it happened. I just spilled it out. And with all honesty, I told you my feelings. I am sorry if it hurts you but I cannot hide the fact that I am scared if I cannot meet your expectations. I told you those things because I want you to understand me if there are times I fail you, and not scold me as if I’ve done a great evil in this life.

I did not tell it to you so that we cannot be together anymore, I told it to you because I want us to be better together. But it seems that you missed my point, because right now, you’re not talking to me anymore. Sometimes, I regret myself of telling it to you but I know that deep inside my heart, I need to tell it to you.

And now, I am pleading. I keep on begging you to answer me and talk to me and you also keep on ignoring me. Every time you ignored me, I feel that a bomb has been exploded right before my heart. And my heart is torn into pieces to the point that I am not sure how to mend it alone.

But I guess this is the point of time where I need to decide whether to hold on and to move forward. Since after everything I’ve done, I keep on failing to have you back. So, I guess this is the moment that I need to move forward on my own and at least save the remaining parts of my heart that is not yet broken. This way, I will be able to love you again if the destiny will allow us. But just remember that I choose this not because I want to but because you do not give me chance to choose the other way, which is to hold on to you anymore.  

Maybe you will never ever read this but I want to tell you that I tried my best so that we can be better together. I want to thank you for everything you’ve done, for giving me the best relationship that I could ever have. Thank you for loving me and for being the best man that I can have in this life.

Just always remember that when we were together, I am the happiest woman in this world.

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